Cordoba Chronicles IV: Chapter 2

A STRONG cough rattled in the foreman’s chest as he sat poring over the floor plans of future buildings. It came in sputters and spurts in the back of his throat. By all rights, Jollum thought, he should be dead and buried.

The Halfling tried to remember how long it had been since contracting the disease that left him this way. Fifteen summers ago, wasn’t it? Maybe seventeen. In fact, it had been twenty years since this affliction left him a wreck of a man with barely a breath in his body. His chest heaved with fear of those days when he almost died. Jollum’s mind began to race with his heart when he thought of what happened soon after that: he met the Benefactor.

The Benefactor helped the pain of his affliction go away when he asked, making him feel alive again. Jollum was so happy, he pledged his life to the Benefactor to do her bidding. She then said the strangest thing in reply: she “knew” that he would. From that moment on, he did whatever the Benefactor asked, never questioning but always wondering and thinking of his actions. One day, Jollum tried to do something he normally did and he received two surprises. When the first surprise made him jump, that was all and nothing else. The following revelation that came to him was the second surprise.

“Mister Jollum!” came the call.

Jollum jumped in his seat and spoke, “Who asks?”

A slender hand pulled aside the tent flap. Familiar gray-green eyes and a curly mop of hair poked in through the opening. “It’s me, Inia. Can I come in?”

Jollum hefted himself up to spread his arms, joints popping and cracking with age as he did. “Yes, my child,” the foreman said as loudly as he could. “Do come in.”

Inia strolled into the tent, past the worn hammock and asked him how he was doing, getting the usual negative prognosis. “You poor man,” she cooed and kissed his forehead. She then said, “I think I may have something that’ll make you feel better.”

“What, child?” Jollum asked.

Inia reached outside of the tent’s flap and pulled in Rashad. The foreman looked him over and said, “So, human, you lookin’ for a job?”

“Yes, sir. I need to make my way.”

“I don’t normally hire humans,” Jollum said, “You’d better have some experience.”

Rashad told him how he built his own home with help and that he helped build some Draconian homes. “Draconian, eh? Good stonework, those Draks have. But that’s sandstone.”

“Stone is stone to me, sir,” Rashad said. If this fool was trying to get a job, Jollum thought, he sure wasn’t doing well. He was about to dismiss the young fool when he noticed Inia giving him the look. He had seen that look before: those big pretty eyes asking for something they couldn’t get. In Inia’s case, she usually got what she wanted from Jollum. He knew that she wanted this young man for something. He decided to play it safe, even when any man worth his salt knows that sandstone is softer than the slate they’ll be using.

“Indeed, lad,” Jollum lied. “Indeed. You’re hired.”

.........................................................................

“Crew! Listen up!”

Over the clatter and clang of metal against stone and the drone of sawing wood, the workers somehow heard. They looked down from their perches and walkways on what would be a new town hall for Karmor’s Bend. The lot of them saw what birds knew by heart: the town streets stretching east and west from the town square, balanced on a southbound street like a pair of scales. The southern street led out to the low hills and ended not too far from the biggest house in town, Blackheart Estates.

Their attention was pulled from “the big house”, as some joked, and down to the three figures standing near the foreman’s tent. There stood the foreman himself, that sweet piece of ass Inia and some guy with her.

“Come on outta there, we’ve got a new guy,” Jollum yelled.

The workers made their way down and walked up to the trio. As Rashad looked at the workers, Jollum explained, “Boss’ daughter brought us more help. This is Rashad, everyone. Introduce yourselves, gents.”

Rashad watched as a burly human with skin darker than his walk up and shake his hand, saying, “M’name’s Wyle, I drive the nails in here.” As Wyle left him, a Halfling walked up and stated, “Name’s Cyan. I dig out here.” The Halfling squeezed Rashad’s hand unnecessarily in the handshake and walked away as another approached. Many of the workers who greeted him were either human or Halfling. Rashad got around to meeting most of them when a large red Enigman made its way through the crowd. Suddenly, a large crab claw jutted from the massive, and the ground shook as the Enigman spoke: “BARCRAB.”

“Wh-wh-well, hey…” Rashad stammered as he shook the Enigman’s pincer.

Jollum interrupted, “Waitaminit…where in the Hells is Orcheon?”

“Boss,” Wyle spoke up, “Orcheon said he’s sick and can’t come today. Something about food poisoning.”

“Great.” Jollum looked at Rashad and asked, “You wanna start today, man?”

“Sure!” Rashad piped up.

“Alright, go over there with Wyle and see what he needs help with.” The foreman turned to the girl. “You going home, Inia?”

“Nope,” the girl replied. “I’m gonna go look for a job. Auntie says I have to learn hard work.”

“Then good luck finding a job, lass,” she heard Jollum say without a hint of irony as she walked off to the stable wall. Making her way through the crowd, she walked up to the wall and pulled down the Moira’s Loom House ad. Looking about with a conspiratorial glance to make sure the black hoods weren’t looking, she grabbed the Egress Bar ad also. Inia then made her way home, leaving a rebellious streak behind her on the way to Blackheart Estates.

Video Game Review - Phantasy Star Online (2000 - Sega Dreamcast)

When I first heard about this game, I said, "Hmm. Phantasy Star. I've been meaning to play that game." I meant the original Sega Genesis games of Phantasy Star parts one through four. I eventually got to play Phantasy Star II, but the game in question was featured on the game system I hated: the Sega Dreamcast.
The Sega Dreamcast was initially an abomination in my eyes due to its presentation of the game Soul Calibur. The Dreamcast was so powerful that its rendering of games was better than the arcade version of the game. At this point, I always believed that the arcade port of a game should surpass any console version of the game. This notion was assaulted by the Dreamcast and I began to shun it in earnest. I didn't last long, because of games like Power Stone (and its sequel), Street Fighter III: Second Impact, Street Fighter III: Third Strike, this game and the rampant NES, SNES and Genesis ROM CDs I had burned by friends. The bloody thing was a treasure of time-killing. I soon learned to love Big Brother--I mean, the Dreamcast.

I started watching the game being played both on-line and off and I came to a revelation: this is how the future of gaming SHOULD be! You go online and quest while fighting monsters alongside friends! What could possibly go wrong? The only thing that could go wrong: human error.

Phantasy Star Online (we'll call it PSO for now) became a haven for a truly idiotic market scheme: players could sell the Meseta (fake money in PSO) they earned from playing PSO and then go online and post them up for sale on eBay, for a certain rate. Other PSO players would respond and pay REAL money for FAKE money and meet up in the PSO world later and exchange Meseta. The Meseta (read: FAKE MONEY) would then be used to purchase stronger weapons and armor that was not previously affordable, thus allowing the user to strike harder, absorb more damage and level up faster than normal. This looked like it was gonna work, no matter how silly it seemed--and then Sega started charging for online accounts, which were previously free. More often than not, people were on PSO because it was (a) cool and (b) free. Thus began the mass exodus of free account users to greener pastures.
There are more Massive Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Games out there now (Dungeons & Dragons Online, Conan, World of Warcraft, RIFT, and Final Fantasy XIV) each with its own flaws, problems and users whose lack of self-control get the game developers unwarranted press. None of these games captured my imagination more than the visual masterpiece called PSO--Phantasy Star Online.

The whole look, feel and urgency put into Phantasy Star Online came through so well, not to mention its initial character creation interface. This is where I really began to like the game. You could choose from 3 classes, each with 3 character templates, for a total of 9 possible characters with specific base stats.  Then you had a palette of colors to apply to clothing styles, faces, hairdos, skin tones (if applicable). You could even control the body proportions! These functions were a bit cumbersome to master, so there was a randomizer that spit out random variables and made a character quickly. When you finally named your character, you were assigned a color badge based on the structure of your name. And off you go to the Hunters' Guild to join in the story of PSO.
The story goes that the home planets of an indigenous race have died and they are searching for a suitable planet. Probes sent out came back with the loction of a suitable planet the leaders of these transient people named Ragol. The transport ship Pioneer 1 went to check it out and said it was all good. Then Pioneer 2 came along, a massive generation-type ship that carried the bulk of all the dying worlds on it. Pioneer 2 arrived at Ragol and tried to contact the Pioneer 1 colony on the surface, but just as contact was established the link was broken by a massive explosion visible from orbit. The president of Pioneer 2 sent some adventurers led by his daughter, Red Ring Rico, to investigate. They never came back, so now he wants you to investigte what became of his daughter and the crew of Pioneer 1.

The game is all anime and super-simple sci-fi than all get-out. The menus you use to organize and make use of are straight and to the point; the quick-menu avaliable by a few button presses is even more so. The world you inhabit in downtime is small but richly detailed. Everything's glowing and shining and floating and flying and whooshing by. On the surface of Ragol, it's very beautiful and your surroundings are the perfect distraction for the mutated denizens it holds in its depths who want to kill you. The bosses are massive and more than hard enough. You'll need to watch how you fight them and make use of your little sidekick buddy, the MAG.

In watching this game, the visuals and the music all had me in a mental tizzy. Why? Because the visuals are how I imagined the future would look when I was a little boy. Hell, I still think that the future can look like that, but I feel that the amount of human error we allow will limit the level of technological advances we want to have. Basically, it's stupid and greedy people that prevent us from colonizing the Moon and having androids, airships and flying cars back on Earth. Until we can get past that, the world will have to settle for the imagined future world of Phantasy Star Online.


RATING: 9/10

Movie Review - Jason X (2001)

We'll start this movie review off as I usually do: through a anecdotal segue.
Ever since I started watching Hercules in the Paramount Pictures' Action Pack, I began to take more and more interest in the work of Sam Raimi after Army of Darkness. The director has a great body of work after the Evil Dead trilogy (looking at you, Cleopatra 2525) and hit the big time with Spider-Man. While Spider-Man is great, my mind still remembers a time when the gods were cruel and plagued mankind with suffering and lands in turmoil cried out for heroes. Most lands preferred Lucy Lawless' Xena, but I preferred Kevin Sorbo.

I don't know if it's just that he's a pretty man or if chicks in the Hellenic Period were easy, but Mr. Sorbo has brought more babes to bed as Hercules than Captain Kirk in Star Trek. When Mr. Sorbo left the Greek world, he ended up in a world created by Star Trek's creator Gene Roddenberry called Gene Roddenberry's Andromeda. There, he's Dylan Hunt, captain of the Commonwealth Fleet's warship called the Andromeda Ascendant. He's the only Commonwealth officer to exist after 300 years and he wants to rebuild the lost government with the help of his Rag-Tag Crew™. Two members of his new crew are the human pilot Beka Valentine (played by Lisa Ryder) and the ship's android avatar that goes by the name "Rommie" (played by raging Anglo-Filipina hotness Lexa Doig). Now, I bring up these two characters from Gene Roddenberry's Andromeda to illustrate a weird coincidence that happened in the casting of the tenth installment of the Friday the 13th horror series called Jason X.

Our story shows up at the capture of our main antagonist Jason (played by stunt master Kane Hodder). I'll never know why people think they can just catch Jason, tie him up and be done with it. You can't. The people who have him in custody are government types who are going to dispose of Jason (good idea) by driving him cross-country to a dumpsite (bad idea) and getting rid of him there. The doctor on staff for the transport of Jason is Dr. Rowen (Lexa Doig), a woman highly opposed to giving Jason any chance to escape. Don't worry, say the higher-ups on site; he's in chains with guards watching him, he's not going anywhere.
Sure enough, the guard (note the singular form) is killed and Jason goes on a rampage, killing many soldiers and chasing Dr. Rowen about. She tricks Jason into a cryogenic chamber to freeze him for 500 years, but he stabs Rowen through the cryotube and they both are frozen for 500 years. Over the years, mankind destroyed Earth and fled to space. A team of medical students is on a field trip to the dead planet Earth to see what they can find in its ruins. They stumble upon the facility that holds Jason and Dr. Rowen, taking both back to their spaceship in orbit.
While Jason is put on a dissection slab, a machine that regenerates parts via nanotechnology revives Rowen in the ship's sickbay. She wakes up and all she can talk about is Jason. The group of young, nubile and horny med students on the ship, including the introverted Tsunaron (Chuck Campbell) and his confused android KM-14 (Lisa Ryder) tell her that the big guy they found with her is quite dead and he won't be bothering anyone at all.

They could not have been more wrong.
Shortly after dispatching the dissecting student with liquid nitrogen, Jason does his thing and kills teenagers having sex. Then he pulls an Alien and goes for the shadows. The man responsible for the field trip, medical professor Lowe (Jonathon Potts), brought Space Marines to fill out the body count. These doomed and poorly disciplined soldiers follow Sgt. Brodsky (Peter Mensah), a badass soldier dude who knows how to relax. His troops don't know how to act, so they get chopped up and Brodsky gets injured trying to save them. Or something.
Needless to say, the people on board are scared and have no way of beating Jason. Tsunaron and KM-14 are stuck somewhere and they come up with a plan to defeat the Voorhees menace. The method employed was good, but the after-effects couldn�t have been worse. Upon being blown to bits by an enhanced KM-14, Jason lands on the medical regenerator. Since most of his body was blown away in a hail of gunfire that DIDN'T pierce the hull, the regenerator had to make do with metallic parts. After moments of cutting back and forth between Jason's carcass and the completion gauge, Jason is all crazy-ass cyborg. Some more shit happens and half the ship starts to fall apart. The leftover crew makes it over to the other side of the ship to execute a plan to hold Jason off.
The plan is to use the ship's holographic projector to make a fake Crystal Lake campsite and hold Jason there while they escape in an escape pod. Two holographic sluts, who easily have the best lines in the movie, delay Jason from pursuing the survivors. This scene alone is comedy gold.

Jason breaks free of the hologram and almost has his prey when Brodsky shows up and faces off with Jason. This gives the survivors enough time to escape in an escape pod. Not to be discouraged by a life-or-death battle in space, Jason jumps and lands on the escape pod and tries to kill the survivors. Brodsky's there too and lunged after Jason, knocking him off and fighting him as they both fall into the nearby planet's atmosphere. You'd think this was the end of Jason, the way Rowen, KM-14 and Tsunaron celebrated as if he was finally dead. Such a belief would be the end of you, but not the end of the Friday the 13th franchise.

This movie sucked, yet held an immense entertainment factor. It's not a great horror film or even a good B-movie; but it has to be one of the best comedies I've seen in a while.

Video Game Review - Suikoden IV (2005 - Sony PlayStation2)

I had been really distracted with the creation of my second animated feature and I had completely lost track of when Suikoden IV was coming out. It took a reminder from my college friends to bring back into the fold of the 108 Stars of Destiny.  When I heard it was finally out, I went right out and bought it. Needless to say, it's become one of my favorite games to relax with.
Upon watching the intro movie, I thought that the game would suck. I also thought that the sailing would be peripheral to the main gameplay. How wrong was I about this prequel to the first Suikoden? Plenty wrong, on both counts.

Our story follows the exploits of a young knight-in-training and his fellow classmates. The most notable of his classmates is the young man called Snowe. Snowe, while not truly your rival, is very jealous of the praise heaped upon you. He's instrumental in your banishment from your home of Razril upon your receiving the rune of this game -- the Rune of Punishment -- from your dying commander. Blamed for your commander's death, you are set adrift at sea. It looks as if you're done for, until you realize the beauty of true friends that is the driving force behind the 108 Stars of Destiny. And that's where the most awesome island-hopping adventure begins.

As previously mentioned in the Suikoden III  review, I hoped that Konami would take a page from the Pirates of the Caribbean game and improve upon it. I also hoped that they would go back to the original type of World Map, instead of the "point A to point B" interface. The game designers have done one better and did it their own way. Not only did they combine the free-roaming World Map of older games and the "point of interest" format from Suikoden III, they have cut out the micromanagement of the sailing system in Pirates of the Caribbean. While some have said that sailing is a pain in the ass, it's one of the most visually relaxing and constructive things I have had the experience to do. Why? Because the game has done something that I never thought they would do: the castle from all previous Suikoden games is now a large sailing vessel--almost like a cruise ship.

Above: The current wielder of the Rune of
Punishment, a Rune that has an unfortunate
side-effect of slowly killing its host.

Speaking about the ship, the ship allows you to do another thing that has me torn. The game designers have eschewed the traditional six-man party and brought it down to a four-man team. While this would be a pain to me, I have realized that the four-man team holds true only on land. When on the deck of the castle-ship you have access to all 108 characters, so the ship allows you to create two auxiliary parties of four to call topside. This increases your World Map party to TWELVE, double the previous sizes in Suikoden and three times as large as the Basic Party. This creates a way to level up scrubby characters you don't want in your Basic Party (aka "the landing party") and allows you to work out the one problem I have with this game: earning team-up attacks.
Team-ups happened whenever people with common traits got together in the same six-man party. If two people with uncommon traits had a team-up attack, the results were usually hilarious (see Nina and Flik's "Groupie Attack" from Suikoden II). Now, the people marked for a team-up attack must stay in the same party for a number of battles until the team-up attack is discovered. This wastes a lot of time where deciding who should go in what team is concerned.

There are a lot of great things about Suikoden IV that easily overshadow the having to earn your team-up attacks. The minigames are totally awesome, and fun to play. They still have Chichinronin for the old-school gamblers and some new games to burn hard-earned cash on. You can make your own accessories and armor on your ship, and look around at everything and everyone with a first-person camera option. Most importantly, some of the characters you meet in your quest to gather the 108 Stars are references from the previous games. It's great to learn that rune mistress Jeane was always a hottie, Viki was always scatterbrained and the name "Scholtenheim Reinbach" is not just a name that Viktor made up in the first Suikoden to get past the guards.

With all that's available to you in the course of your career of "privateering" (licensed piracy in the name of the kingdom of Obel), this game is a grand addition to the Suikoden storyline. I anticipate Suikoden V, yet I have no idea where it could be headed. Perhaps the story will take a cue from the Final Fantasy series and sail into the far-flung future, bringing extraterrestrials and cyborgs from across galaxies into the fold of the 108 Stars of Destiny.

RATING: 9/10

Movie Review - In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (2007)

I'm writing a review about a director I used to hate--yes, USED TO--is because I have decided to make a compilation of reviews, to show Herr Direktor's progress from his big break (House of the Dead) up to his latest film. The latest film is the one I review now with the mouthful of a title In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale.

The movie is one of several video game properties Herr Direktor picked up around 2004 (as mentioned in the Bloodrayne review) to make a quick buck off a pre-existing video game storyline. Dungeon Siege is a a game where you quest to rid the world of great evil from humble beginnings as a farmer to a mighty warrior or spellcaster. There are other character along the way to help and they join your quest, making it a lot easier to take it to evil's face. It's a cool game that has spawned 2 sequels and more expansion packs, and now a movie.

Our story follows the mysterious man known only as Farmer (Jason Statham) and his pretty wife Solana (Claire Forlani) and his nameless son (nameless for a reason). He lives a boring life and tries to keep to himself, even with constant pestering from his neighbor and friend Norrick (Ron Perlman) to join the army and fight back the subhuman menace known as the Krugs. Farmer politely declines the offer yet easily dispatches any Krug scouts on his land. It makes him wonder how he'll protect his family (duh, use your ass-kicking skillz) and who commands them. Who or what would do such evil things? WHO, I ASK YOU? WHO?!
The answer lies in the hands of a rival royal court magician Gallian (Ray Liotta), who schemes to take over the kingdom of Ehb from King Konreid (Burt Reynolds) by force and fell magic. He's so sure he'll win that he has time to seduce Muriella (Leelee Sobieski) ina bid to overextend her father, the great royal magister Merick (John Rhys-Davies). She holds the key to great magical power and if he can sap enough to become more powerful than Merick, Gallian would rule the kingdom...and he wouldn't stop there. Thankfully, he made the mistake of killing Farmer's son (toldja there's a reason) and in-laws, as well as kidnapping both Norrick and Solana. If he didn't we'd have no movie and I wouldn't be able to introduce these other characters in short order:

• the elf-like Elora (Kristanna Loken), who meets Farmer in the forest with her "dryad warriors",
• the King's nephew Duke Fallon (Matthew Lillard), a sniveling opportunist who conspires with Gallian in exchange for a stake in the new regime,
• Commander Tarish (Brian White), AKA "the Blackman", captain of the King's personal guard, highly competent swordsman and nice guy all-around.

What happens in this movie defies logic found in script-writing 101 classes at your local community college. People are harassed when they could just as well be back in their cells, warning signs are ignored, and Farmer is revealed to be King Konreid's long-lost son previously mentioned once or twice. The writer has even decided to throw in a Star Wars reference in poor taste. The movie culminates in a split battle between the Krugs and Konreid's forces, and the final showdown between Farmer and Gallian. Both fights rock face, but the ending was kinda left unfinished. With the final CG camera sweep over the mountains, one can only assume the entire script must have been a poor re-imagining to one of the better computer games out there.

Yeah. I said it.

Video Game Review - Suikoden III (2002 - Sony PlayStation2)

Suikoden III is a game that is a worthy success or to its predecessors, in that it keeps almost all of the wonder and characters of the original stories. The game raises the ante on game play by allowing you to play as one of three heroes (via the "Trinity System") that will inherit the name you chose at the beginning of the game. While the character you choose will not be named that, the character you named will be that of the legendary man known as the Flame Champion.

Legend has it that the Flame Champion is a young man who fights for freedom and justice while bearing the True Fire Rune.(The Flame Champion might be a composite of both heroes from Suikoden and Suikoden II.) The problem with the authorized legend is that it depicts the Flame Champion as a warlord bent on destroying civilization and leaving a flaming ruin in his wake. So when rumors of the Flame Champion start to surface among the many tribes of Grassland, the government reacts quickly to quell any uprisings. This introduces us to 2 of our heroes.

The first is Captain Sarah of the Knights of Zexen, also known as the Silver Maiden. She's a swordswoman loved by her people and revered as a hero. The second hero is Hugo, son of Lucia, leader of the Karaya Clan. He is always accompanied by his gryphon mount, Fubar. Yes, Fubar (military acronym: fucked up beyond all repair). Our third hero is on the other side of the map when most of their story goes down, but he eventually becomes a big part of it. The man in question is Geddoe, captain of the Holy Harmonia Southern Frontier Defense Corps, 12th Division. His skills and choice of magic rune echo that of a prominent character from the series.
The search is on between all these parties for things that matter to their separate missions, yet the searches push them closer to each other in an effort to stop a clandestine plot to destroy the world. The villain in question is someone from previous Suikoden games, and the last person you'd expect. That's all I can say about the story itself, but I can say more about the game.

A game that can stand on its own with bonuses for those who have stayed on for this latest installment, Suikoden III is a great game. The use of 3D characters and surroundings rendered in acceptable proportions was a very good idea, as well as the inclusion of the feature to upload old Suikoden II data.  Many other factors made this game extremely fun to play, yet there were some flaws that I had issues with. These issues were enough to bring the game's rating down one point on the rating scale, because they violate a set of laws with amendments I have set aside for RPGs. These laws I have in my head are necessary to make an RPG flow as smoothly as possible. I understand that many RPGs try to be different to draw an audience, but some gimmicks shouldn't be done. On with my beef on Suikoden III.

Above: The former wielder of the True Fire Rune,
The Flame Champion. Long since dead, he leaves his
legacy behind for the next Flame Champion to lead
the people against tyranny.

First, the Trinity System.
This feature violates a rule that stipulates ONE main character per game, and all others act as NPC's in the event they are not chosen and cannot be used again until all the chapters of the story are complete. It does look like the Trinity System follows this rule with the goal of being chosen as the next Flame Champion, but look again. The user can switch between characters at the end of each chapter, which can become a muddling experience because each main character has their own inventory and item cache. Sure it's a new way to play the game, but if one character has an item -- that can't be bought -- that the other needs in order to complete a chapter with no way to meet, the problem becomes two fold. And just as you're getting on with one character, another pops up for you to "investigate."
Another problem with the Trinity system is its name. The game requires you to play as all three characters, each assuming the nom de guerre of the Flame Champion chosen at the point of file creation. The interface for the Trinity system also allows you to use 3 other interface points. Two of those points (one of them is the villain's POV) have something to do with the story, the other is pretty useless. This makes six points in the Trinity System; a "Sextet System". That's way too many accessible main characters.

Second and foremost, the World Map.
This feature violates the entire concept of the World Map. From what I understand, the World Map is used as a tool to make it from point A to point B as quickly as possible, with the chances of getting lost significantly reduced. This is not so in Suikoden III.
The World Map feature has points on it that denote places of interest, dungeons/caves, towns and castles which you can travel to and complete chapter objectives. The problem with that concept is that you can't wander about anywhere in between and have a random encounter. The game makes up for this by including NO extra random encounters in the qualifying map points. I understand that many RPG gamers are adverse to random encounters, but the loss of free movement is stifling compared to the prior Suikoden games. Keep in mind that Suikoden III is not the first to violate this rule (see Grandia, Grandia II, Final Fantasy Tactics, etc.) nor will it be the last. Its transgression is compounded by the opposing actions of its forefathers.
Suikoden III is still a fun game, beef notwithstanding. I hear that Suikoden IV will feature naval battles; hopefully they'll take a page from the remake of the video game Sid Meier's Pirates! (the oversea map that allowed you to sail past enemies) and improve on the sailing engine for the purpose of sea battles. If they can combine this previous idea with a good land elements, I'll be happy.

RATING: 9/10

Movie Review - The Wolf Man (2010)

Werewolf showdown.

 

When I saw the trailer for this movie, I immediately said, "I hope they have some sort of werewolf battle at the end."  I went to see it, and I was not disappointed. But I am getting ahead of myself in this review of a remake of a movie from 1941.

So, there's an English guy who got attacked by a werewolf. He died, so he obviously isn't the werewolf. The guy's brother, Lawrence Talbot (notorious Hispanic-at-large Benicio Del Toro), comes from a very successful stage career in America to see to the details of his brother's funeral and his estate, Talbot Manor.  He would not have known about it from his aloof asshole of a father Sir John Talbot (Anthony Hopkins) who still lives there, but instead learned about his brother's death from from Gwen Contliff (Emily Blunt), his brother's fiancee.  Lawrence eventually got to view the body before burial and found a medallion on the corpse, the kind sold at the gypsy camp outside of their town, known as Blackmoor.

Upon visiting, Lawrence meets with an old gypsy woman, Maleva (Geraldine Chaplin), who tells Lawrence that his brother was attacked by something evil. Just then, the gypsy camp comes under attack by the werewolf, and Lawrence is bitten. So begins the most awesome displays of movie makeup magic since the late Stan Winston, as created by Rick Baker. You can feel the burn of the wounds as the curse reddens the flesh while coursing through Lawrence's veins.  It's really amazing stuff.  Then the change from man to wolf-man occurs and IT IS INCREDIBLE.  The digital FX are able to twist and shape the actor into a monstrosity that doesn't stray too far from the base of the werewolf design, that can give a great blood-curdling howl against the biggest full moon since the time of the dinosaurs.

Eventually, bad stuff happens. One can only expect a werewolf on the loose to cause havoc.  So Inspector Abberline of Scotland Yard (Hugo Weaving) comes to investigate the Blackmoor murders and was able to catch the person responsible for them--Lawrence Talbot?  The madness does not stop there, as Lawrence is taken to a London mental institution for incarceration and study.  He promptly escapes by transforming into a werewolf and causes havoc on the streets of London, all on the way back to Blackmoor. It is there that the truth is revealed about Lawrence's past, his brother's murder, and his mother's death--all in the same shot.  It also gives me the satisfaction of seeing something I called at the beginning of the movie and this review: WEREWOLF SHOWDOWN.  A werewolf showdown, I might add, that does NOT disappoint.

End spoilers.

Video Game Review - Suikoden II (1999 - Sony Playstation)

Suikoden II is the second entry in the Genso Suikoden series. It's a story that focuses on the exploits of 3 teenagers in a time of war and the ancient Sword Rune and Shield Rune. It also has the most mini-games in an RPG I've played so far, giving this game a major bonus. Despite that, mini-games do not a game make (unless you're Incredible Crisis). There is a story in this game, and it involves the usual running about and collecting the 108 Stars of Destiny.

You play the grandson of the late warrior Genkaku, part of a trainee mission to scout the outer fringes of enemy territory in a land at war. You and your childhood friend Jowy Atreides run from the danger, jump into the river and are swept into the waiting hands of the enemy...our heroes from Suikoden, Viktor and Flik of the Blue Lightning!

Somewhere along the line, you'll meet up with your sister Nanami and then the story kicks into full gear. This game spans several countries and features many characters from Suikoden who still were around; this makes for a great treat for people who played the first Suikoden, like me. The aforementioned Viktor and Flik are there, as well as Pesmerga, Stallion the elf, the cooks Antonio and Lester, Humphrey and his Dragon Knight squire, Futch. Both Kasumi the ninja and the warrior Valeria are around to help the new hero. Kage makes a brief appearance, as does Leknaat and many other other characters such as Mathiu's dad Leon Silverberg, the innkeeper Marie, Cleo and Pahn (if you kept him alive). Clive the bounty hunter is still pursuing his quarry Eliza. Tai Ho returns as a playable character, but his buddy Yam Koo is not. Tengaar and Hix are about and still getting in trouble. Apple, pupil under the strategist Mathiu, returns with some age and experience, yet chooses to play second to Mathiu's star pupil Shu. makes Neclord shows up ("Again? I thought we killed him!" was my reaction) as does the weapon of his destruction: the always-sassy Star Dragon Sword. Even the main hero McDohl and his manservant Gremio (if you got all 108 before storming Gregminster) are available. The one person who I saw hide nor hair of in the game was the creature called Yuber. I wanted another go at him on the battlefield.

Speaking of the battlefield, the fights take place in open grassland instead of on the grounds of the castle you're trying to storm. Paper-rock-scissors still plays a part in the battle movements, but now there's the issue of range and terrain. It doesn't detract from the skirmish scenario experience, because you still get to have your duels. The bad thing about duels is that they are storyline-event driven; they are not guaranteed at the end of every skirmish.

Above: The hero of SUIKODEN II,
soon to have his life changed
by the Shield and Sword Runes.

While I'm on the subject of batle, the item access in Suikoden II seriously hinders survival in battle; you have to equip a healing item before you can use it in battle. This is a great way to get killed in battle when your item runs out and you have to spend another turn equipping something else. Then there's the fact that you can't use items at your leisure. For example: if I got hit by a Flying Squirrel and lost health, I could just use my equipped Healing Potion that heals a small amount of HP. If the immediate turn has me damaged by a Harmonian soldier, I'd have to use the equipped Healing Potion and disregard my healing food called "Chige Nabe" (heals a gang of HP.)

The story keeps you involved, but tends to drag ON and ON and ON and ON! Thought you were done when you killed that guy, right? Wrong! Now you have to go through another castle and fight an even bigger boss than that. Then again, the Suikoden series never lets you off the hook with a lame final boss. Final boss asides, the bosses in Suikoden II are grand and make you work to defeat them. From giant sewer rats to the Star Dragon Sword, your bosses show absolutely no quarter or mercy. Conquering the bosses always guarantees a kick-ass treasure trove, yet some treasures can only be obtained in mini-games.
Minigames can be found inside the castle you have for your army of 108 people; they must be entertained, so there are several ways to do that. There's fishing, rock climbing, investigations of your troops, the traditional game of Chichinronin (now Nerfed to limit your winnings) and the latest addition to the minigame spectrum--the cook-off, led by your army's cook, Hai Yo.

The story gets weepy at times but the minigames and extras more than make up for it. This is a great sequel to the original, particularly when both the new hero and McDohl (still bearing the Soul Eater, but with new animations!) team up for the first time. This game does what most movies can never seem to do: make a decent sequel.

RATING: 9/10

Movie Review - Ninja (2009)

In many movies, it seems to be the the realm of Caucasians that when confronted with another race or peoples, they become better than the best at being that culture.  T.H. Lawrence of Arabia in the titular role of the associated film is a good example, as well as Lt. John Dunbar (aka Dances with Wolves). The biggest offender was The Last Samurai, starring Tom Cruise.  The fact that the last samurai in the film was a White guy really teed off many Japanese upon its release in the land of the samurai, and deservedly so.  It's a good thing that a DVD that feels so much like "The Last Ninja" did not get great publicity.  So it is with the imaginatively titled action movie Ninja.

Casey (Scott Adkins) is an American man studying in Japan--not as a Japanese English Teacher (JET), but as a ninja. He has grown up in the Koga school since he was orphaned at eight years old.  Now a man, Casey is tasked by his Sensei (Togo Igawa) to protect the Yoroi Bitsu--a collection of Koga ninja artifacts from centuries past--from his disgraced rival-turned-assassin, Masazuka (Tsuyoshi Ihara).  Masazuka plans to take control of the Yoroi Bitsu to become Koga clan leader, but the sensei's daughter Namiko (Mika Hijii) has arranged for it to be moved halfway around the world to New York City.  With a guard consisting of Casey, Namiko and other ninjas, there's no way Masazuka will be able to get the Yoroi Bitsu...
...that is, unless he's called in some favors from his secret society friends at the Temple Corporation, run by Mr. Temple (Miles Anderson).  He's got Euro-goons and guns, so finding and capturing a couple of undercover ninjas in New York City should not be a problem.  At all.

It goes without saying that our American ninja (no Joe Armstrong here) is in a relationship with the Sensei's daughter.  Verily, the TV Tropes entry "Me Love You Long Time" is in full effect.  In a related tangent, I remember my friends in college coming up with an inverted scale of White guys and their Asian girlfriends.  I'll be honest: the lead actor Scott Adkins is a chiseled man who is ripped like a panther, which explains why the love interest is not as attractive. I wouldn't put a bag on her head or anything--not that bad.  Just not raging hot, like most Asian female love interests tend to be.  Remaining on the track previous, this movie has a lot of flaws.
Dumb cops acting on plot dictation, mild references to Star Wars (look for it), heavy dependance on uniformed street thugs and obvious ADR work are a sign that the filmmakers made the wise decision to go directly to DVD.

Video Game Review - Suikoden (1996 - Sony Playstation)

My first experience with a role-playing game (RPG) was by watching my buddy Kodi play a game called Chrono Trigger on the Super Nintendo. I then had my own experience with a little-known game called Shining Force II on the Sega Genesis. When my brother and I got our hands on a PlayStation amidst the buzz of Final Fantasy VII, we just played normal stuff. I didn't even know that this game existed until I noticed it at Blockbuster Video. Reading the back I found out that this game had 108 playable characters, featured dragons and plenty of adventu--
WHAT THE HELL?? ONE HUNDRED EIGHT CHARACTERS?
UNBELIEVABLE!!!

You're damn right that sold me. Let's do the math:

• Chrono Trigger allowed you to control a mix of any 3 recruited/joined characters in battle out of a possible 7 recruitable characters total.(42.8% of all characters in battle at any given combat)
• Shining Force II allowed you to control a mix of any 12 recruited/joined characters in battle out of a possible 30 recruitable characters total.(40%)
• Genso Suikoden allows you to control 6 recruited/joined characters in battle out of a possible 81 available for battle out of 108 recruitable characters total (7.4 percent)

And with that, I rented it and I haven't stopped playing the Suikoden series since.  For those that aren't into Suikoden as much as I am, please take note of the story. From what I understand, this game is loosely based on the story "The Water Margin" about 108 honorable bandits who lived in the 12th Century that fought for the rights of the people and against corrupt officials. It was written in 14th Century China and made popular in the Edo Period of 19th Century Japan. This story was translated into the digital medium to relfect a story that works like this:
You're the hero, a privileged son of a general in the kingdom of Gregminster. In your efforts to be like everyone else, you find out that you're destined to be different--beyond all expectations. Things go awry, friends die and you're stuck with a powerful magic Rune called the Soul-Eater Rune. When you find out what goes on in the real world, you're thrust into battle against your own kingdom with rebel allies from all the provinces. You gain allies, abilities, features and minigames along the way as you build your base of operations. In the end, you do fight your father and you fight your king. Once that's done, the kingdom is free, and it's all thanks to you.

The game's features allow you to get more acquainted with the mythology of the world of Suikoden and its workings. Talk to people and you'll get moree information on how to get things done in the game world. Learning how things are done allows you to access more characters. The more characters you have, the more people you must house, thus your castle grows more and more each time you recruit more of the 108 characters. Once you have enough characters, you can do something spectacular: battle combinations.

Above: The hero of SUIKODEN,
Tir McDohl. Inset: Soul Eater Rune.

Battle Combinations are where you get 2 or more people with a certain relationship or something in common and in battle, you'll have the option to use the combination attack. When the combination attack is used, the characters involved will combine their might to attack one enemy with a powerful set of moves, or multiple enemies with an increased attack. This is one of the reasons why you should recruit all 108 characters. Another reason to do the legwork in recruiting is to get all the magicians and their Runes.
Runes are magical stones that grant magical powers. Some runes are broken into shards and can be placed on weapons to do magic damage, but mostly they are whole runes that are worn by an individual. These runes allow the average fellow to wield awesome power. There are the standard 4 elements (earth, wind, fire & water) and a fifth magical element unique to Japanese culture (lightning), in addition to the other fighting runes that allow its wearer to have special powers beyond the elements. Then there are the special runes worn by magicians that are a step above the normal elemental runes in magic strength. The most amazing thing about the runes in this game is that if you time it right, you can get magicians to combine their magics to create a stronger magic, just like a battle combination. This maneuver ends up having disastrous results for the enemy. For all the magic and battle combinations you may have up your sleeve, it ain't nothing unless you SHARPEN YOUR WEAPON.
Sharpening your weapon is like literally leveling up your weapon. The weapons go up to level 16, increasing from its initial level (whatever it may be) and increasing in damage at an average rate of 4-20 attack points each level. The weapons have names and the names change on the weapon when they reach certain levels. The one thing I had a problem with initially is that your character uses a bo staff. How can you sharpen a bo staff and not call it a spear? I realized after a time I was thinking on it too hard. I then went on playing the game and got into by first skirmish.
Skirmishes are the war portions of Suikoden. In these skirmish battles, you'll fight with everyone--yes, everyone--in a bid to attack a general under King Barbarossa. You'll have limited use of all of their skills, plus skills they can only access in a skirmish. When you boil down the control system of fighting in the skirmishes, it's basically a grand game of jan-ken-pon (rock-paper-scissors). The down side to skirmish scenarios is that if someone dies in a skirmish scenario, they're gone for good. With the battle scheme dependant solely on chance and an understanding or rock-paper-scissors, anyone can complete a skirmish scenario with little or no casualties.

There are motivating factors in this game that should keep you going when you think you've had enough of the game, and enough features to keep you in your castle when you should be out leveling up your fighters. The music is good; tinny at first, but swelling afterward, particularly in the case of the free-roaming Map Screen. The boss enemies are hard, particularly at the time you meet them. For me, that's always a plus. If you're a treasure-hunter like me, you'll really like all the little goodies they throw into the background for you. This game is a treasure in itself and receives a rating of 9.

RATING: 9/10

Movie Review - Red Riding Hood (2011)

 

I've been on an Amanda Seyfried kick lately.  I seem to be watching a lot of movies starring her, the last being Chloe.  I'm not sure why so many of her movies draw me in, but it might have something to do with her status as a rising star in Hollywood.  Or the fact that she's attractive. Either way, it probably isn't the movies. I'd be open to watching Mean Girls, but I draw the line at Mamma Mia!, as a rule.  This also goes for several other movies designed for the fairer sex, like Beastly and the omnipresent Twilight series.

Despite being marked as being an imitator of the Twilight franchise, I found myself drawn to Red Riding Hood. The most likely reason being Miss Seyfried, but I also had an academic curiosity to see what was done with the story of the legendary  little crimson-covered child.

Said child is little no longer: Valerie (Amanda Seyfried) is a willful young woman, promised to the blacksmith's son, Henry (Max Irons) in marriage by her mother Suzette (Virginia Madsen).  Alas, she loves the woodcutter Peter (Shiloh Fernandez) and has done so since they were children.  They want to run away and live free, but a murder in their village of Darkmoor brings them back to reality.  The culprit: a wolf that preys on their village that takes a sacrifice of a living being to sate its bloodlust on a full moon.  Now the wolf is back, and draws an even more dangerous enemy into the midst of Darkmoor--this time, a wolf in sheep's clothing.

Father Solomon (the scene-chewing Gary Oldman) and his armed escort roll into town in an armored carriage, bristling with weapons.  The good father says such things are necessary in his line of work--as a hunter of devils, demons, witches, warlocks and werewolves.  To wit, he reminds people that he is willing to go to great lengths to find out who is the werewolf in Darkmoor.  Yes, they're dealing with a werewolf and it lives in the town.  Soon, Father Solomon has people accusing each other of witchcraft and of being the werewolf.  The chaos spreads fast, but not enough to slow the romantic subplot down at all.

The sexual tension is so thick, you could cut it with a knife.  Heap on the extra layers of lies and the mystery of who the werewolf could be, and you have a fine movie.  Some might even say it's lame because it is slavish to the original, or not slavish enough to the original.  If the audience can't relate to Valerie by virtue of teenager problems, you just blew a wad of cash on kiddie porn or a poorly visualized juvenile fantasy (see: Robin Williams' Toys). If Valerie doesn't make it to Grandma's house or have that ears/eyes/teeth conversation, then the story told is baseless.

The movie has a story to tell, and it does so admirably with all the history of the original supporting information with modern twists.  I especially liked what they did with all the different versions of Little Red Riding Hood (there's more than one) and other wolf-related fairy tales, like the Boy Who Cried Wolf and the Three Little Pigs.  The movie's got some pretty chaste gore effects that do an effective job of conveying the carnage in the film.  For a movie directed by the woman who directed Twilight, starring a man who played the lead's father in both that film and this one (Billy Burke), it's not as bad as people make it out to be.  Ultimately, the only ones who would hate this movie would be Twilight haters.

And yet I still liked it.

Video Game Review - PowerStone (1999 - Sega DreamCast)

CAPCOM's melee fighter game Power Stone, I can safely say, has taken advantage of one of my favorite time periods in world history: the years spanning from the late 19th century to the years prior to World War II. This time period had great discoveries in science and archaeology abound, with the invention of the Atom Bomb just ahead of us and the Haymarket Riots behind us and the Bolshevik revolt somewhere inbetween. Electricity, the invention of the automobile, manned flight, the excavation of the Pharaoh's Tombs, the initial concept of the computer and the atom, ideas on human evolution; all were found and reported on in this short period of time.

Other things came from these years, namely the stories, books and legends of the early 20th Century. The Red Baron, the mystics of the British Raj, the curses of Pharaohs and many more legends were competing with the more contemporary writers of the times like H.G. Wells, Jules Verne, Mary Shelley, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Robert E. Howard, Edgar Rice Burrows, Mark Twain, H.P. Lovecraft and several other authors who made strides to preserve their past--and visions of the future--in writing.

Most of these stories involved scientific marvels that had a basis in reality, and only had to be invented; thus the stories were called "science fiction."

sci•ence fic•tion. n. fiction dealing principally with the impact of actual or imagined science on society or individuals or having a scientific factor as an essential orienting component[date:1851]

Motorized tanks, submarines, spaceflight, robotics, time travel, television, first contact with extraterrestrials, computers and the visit to another heavenly body (usually the Moon) all fall into the wishful writings of science fiction.The adventures completed during these science fiction novels in exotic locales served up exotic peoples-- mostly beautiful women, great treasures to be found, cunning foes and dangerous beasts (some of conventional design and others of radical or impossible biologies). These novels served to pump the blood and excite the imagination, awakening the heroic (by European standards), adventurous being in all males.
The same things can be achieved my almost any video game, rendering most books obsolete and almost all gamers somewhat illiterate. If you took the time to read the works of the aforementioned authors, you'll see the great influence that written science fiction had on the creative staff of Power Stone.

Power Stone is set in the late 19th Century amidst the search for the legendary titular item. Said item has the power to make one wish--any wish--come true. Those that search for it will resort to fighting each other tooth and nail to get it. Luckily, there are MANY weapons lying around to hely the combatants fight each other for the best 2 out of 3 rounds for a win. The contenders for the Power Stone come from all over the globe, bearing with them great will and skill, multiplied several times over when in contact with pieces of the Power Stone. Let's take a look at our candidates:

FALCON

FALCON
Falcon is the son of Pride, a legendary aviator and treasure hunter. He could be the best bet for winning the Power Stone. When in contact with the Power Stone, he transforms into a red metallic, flying superhero that looks like "The Rocketeer".
The German flying ace Manfred Albrecht Freiherr von Richthofen (aka "the Red Baron") may have been the inspiration for Falcon.  The name Falcon, however, may have come from the type of plane the Red Baron flew during World War I: a Fokker Dr.I triplane. A guess as to why he's called "Falcon" as opposed to "Fokker" is a dodge against reviving Nazi ideology (the Union Jack on his shoulder would probably be an Iron Cross). Given that the German combatants were not Nazis during WWI, this has yet to be made clear.

ROUGE

ROUGE

Although One Thousand and One Arabian Nights was written well before the age of science fiction, it was re-explored by the people of the 19th Century. Rouge brings it back as a mystical, exotic woman. Touching the Power Stone turns her into a type of genie called an Efreet (more commonly known as an Ifrit). All fire and brimstone, she's a dangerous character to play against. In a nod to the myths about the area encompassed by the British Raj, Rouge enters on a flying carpet.

WANGTANG

WANGTANG

Yet another sendup of the Monkey King Sun Wukong/Son Gokuu of the Eastern epic Journey to the West (aka Saiyuki), this Asian boy bears the swirling crown symbol of Son Gokuu proudly as his belt. When he touches the Power Stone, he's more of a reference to Akira Toriyama's Dragon Ball Z's Super-Saiyans than anything else. Another nod to the Monkey King comes in the form of an extending weapon found in the game called the nyoi-bo, more commonly known as the Power Pole. 

GALUDA

GALUDA
A representative of the Native Americans, Galuda is frickin' huge. He is a note to the slowly disappearing Old West. Touching the Power Stone allows him to turn into a totem statue of great power. I refer to him in this form as the "wooden Optimus Prime." Twisting stereotypical ideas about native American weapons, Galuda can fire giant shining arrows at his opponent. Oddly enough, Galuda is another way of pronouncing Garuda, a name for a winged bird-like creature of Hindu (read: Indian) mythology.  The Indian may have been a mix-up with feather Indians and forehead-dot Indians, but Native Americans have been known to give great importance and spiritual significance to the eagle.

RYOMA

RYOMA

Fulfilling the necessary convention of having two representatives from Japan in a fighting game, enter our ronin samurai hero Ryoma. You'll see he's the most efficient fighter in the game because he brings his own weapon to the fight. The Power Stone transforms him into a super samurai in silver beetle armor, a character I sometimes call "Mushido" but am apt to mark as the X-Men villain Silver Samurai. One of his moves allows him to make several slashes in the air that home in on its target.

JACK

JACK

Jack was based on the mutilating murderer Jack the Ripper. The basis is changed some to reflect Japanese influence: Jack behaves like a ninja, yet his image incorporates ideas of the Pharaoh's mummies. Nonetheless, when he has the Power Stone, Jack turns into Robo-Jack, capable of rending the flesh from his opponent's bone in the span of a match.

AYAME

AYAME

One would think that she's a geisha in training, but her behavior is anything but geisha-like! Ayame  is a fun little girl who can do just as well as the boys can. Contact with the Power Stone transforms her into a ninja dressed in pink...with the largest shuriken ever on her back. Her specialty is throwing the large shuriken about, hoping it hits. It will indeed hit, and for 9 hits at that. Looking at her makes me think of the Pink Ranger from Power Rangers.

 

GUNROCK

GUNROCK

I'm not sure whether this guy is supposed to be a nod to Pancho Villa, but he's a big ol' Mexican dude who will hurt you if he gets you in a corner. In Power Stone mode, he turns into an earthen golem creature that bears a strange resemblace to the Fantastic Four superhero, the Thing. There's a lot of industrialization in Gunrock's stage; I wonder if it has anything to do with the industrialization of Mexico as seen by the eyes of Mexican artist Diego Parra.

These 8 heroes are all vying for the Power Stone, but undesireable forces would have them first. Such villains have set up shop in the lost city of what looks like Atlantis. Needless to say, the battle is on against the villains in all hope to save the world. Such grand goals from people across the world appeals to me at the basest of levels.
The control for this game is a bit hectic and rushed. It takes a while to get used to the craziness. The transformations are cool, their supers are cooler and the whole vision is absolutely wonderful. With all these benefits, could there be a problem? Not at all. 

RATING: 9/10

Movie Review - Underworld (2003)

Disappointment  strikes once again in this movie about vampires and werewolves, an idea that shouldn't have ended in the review you are about to read. Billed as a "modern-day occult Romeo and Juliet" for stupid people who can't make their decisions on anythin' else other than a big shot reviewer's decision (that's why I'm bush league, folks!), this movie let me down. I'll explain why.

We all saw the awesome-as-hell trailer, right? Some Trinity-like chick walking off a tower and landing safely in mid-stride, vampires vamping about, lots of silver and leather and GUNS, the "Gun Dance" (she shoots a hole in the floor with her guns to get to the next floor down) and the darkest rainiest city this side of Seattle. All of this is captured in the limited palette of blue filter. Holy moley, this oughta be awesome!

Nope. It's silly, but not awesome.

It was a bit of a stretch to believe this movie when I believe Blade and its sequel pretty much covered this whole thing. But the story has to be heard in order to start to make sense, and I say that because I didn't have access to the script like some folks do. So here's the story, as covered in the prequel, Underworld: Rise of the Lycans:
Vampires and their eternal enemies, the "Lycans" (read: werewolves) have been fighting a war for over 1000 years. They have graduated from swords, fangs and claws to more modern weapons, like UV bullets for the werewolves and silver/silver nitrate bullets for the vampires. It takes place on the streets of generic Eastern European cities and everything is fair game. Rarely does the bullet hit the target in this movie, kinda like in G.I. JOE. I think that's why the Immortals' War has raged for so long; soldiers on either side can't hit the broad side of a barn. The only exception to this rule is the main character Selene (Kate Beckinsale). She's a "Death-Dealer" and dresses in flattering rubber suits that show off her butt, but then she covers it up with a big duster jacket/vampire cape. And GUNS. She does all the cool stuff mentioned in the aforementioned trailer and not much else except strike a bad-ass silhouette in the sewers and subways of [Eastern European city]. When she's done with that, she goes home to the Vampire Coven.

The Vampire Coven houses all the vampires in the local clan, who vamp about and scheme and drink and ponder the direction of the next Marilyn Manson album. Selene is the only vampire that gives a damn about this war, as opposed to the new clan leader, Kraven (Shane Brolly). Kraven likes Selene but not her attitude. Thus the two are always at odds: Kraven ordering Selene to do stupid things and Selene disobeying him, deferring to another's judgement or behavior. The two cut a decent picture of modern relationships in the Western world. Which brings us to the third man in our love quartet, Michael Corvin (Scott Speedman).
An intern at St. Istvan's Hospital and an unknowing descendant of 13th Century man Corvinus (the only person to be infected by an unknown plague who didn't die), he is a valuable commodity in the Immortals' War. He holds the key to completing a vampire-werewolf hybrid that is stronger than the two in all respects. This holds no interest to the vampire (who consider such an abomination to their own evil...?), but is of great interest to the Lycans.
These are powerful Lycans, no longer tethered to the full moon to change. They're led by clan leader Lucien (Michael Sheen) and second-in-command Raze (Kevin Grevioux, co-writer of the story!), whom I have nicknamed "the Were-Negro." The whole clan of lycans is nothing but diry, Chechen rebel-looking fellows, leaving you to wonder if female Lycans exist (side note: they used to). Moving on: Lycans have been trying for years to find the descendant of Corvinus and have found it in Michael. So naturally they hunt him down to take him, but Selene gets him first--but not BEFORE Lucien bites him and infects him.

There's all this crap about how Selene loves Michael (after being with him for less than an hour) and vice versa. Naturally, Kraven doesn't like it, learns that Michael is gonna be a Lycan and orders him killed. Selene will also be punished by the Council for consorting with him. Selene then goes to the only person who will listen to her: Master Vampire Viktor (the prolific Bill Nighy). Viktor is believable as a Elder Vampire Lord, but he looks like a cross between a Todd McFarlane sculpture and a rejected sketch from Warcraft 3: Frozen Throne. I expected him to mess up and exclaim, "Glory to the Blood Elves!" one time, but no dice. Selene loves #4, I mean Viktor 'cuz she was "saved" by him from the Lycans that killed her family. Unfortunately, Viktor knows a lot of stuff that has already transpired by some weird blood/memory transfusion thing, particularly the plot between Lucien and Kraven to lift Kraven to the heights of Supreme Vampire Overlord at the expense of his fellow vampires and a tribute to the Lycans! Viktor also knows that Selene loves Michael and orders her to kill Michael. Ah, conflict.

In the end, there's a big fight scene involving Selene and GUNS--LOTS OF GUNS and a sword, Michael finally makes it to vampire/lycan hybrid status, Selene kills Viktor (!), Kraven kills Lucien and the Were-Negro lives through the whole thing. I think. This movie had only a few scenes that made me sit up briefly, and everything else made me say, "what a waste". At least I had my MST3K skills to get me through.
There are some points in this movie that pay no mind to lesser conventions of the involved mythical creatures--salvageable only by the memory of what vamps and Lycans should be. A werewolf can take on any vampire, sure why not. Said werewolf takes on multiple vampires in the dark? NO! Vampires having 3 infrared scopes on a gun when they should be able to see IN THE DARK? NO! Vampires that can't fly? NO! Werewolf women? NO!--I mean, yes, but...NO! A sequel? Two of them, which ramp up the cheese factor with every release.

Holy moley, this movie let me down. It needs elements of what made The Crow and The Craft become embraced by Goth culture in general. Most of all, the creators need to give credit to White Wolf Gaming Studio for ripping off Vampire: the Requiem and Werewolf: the Apocalypse in DVD releases.

Cordoba Chronicles IV: Chapter 1

SHE had been everything to him, and now she was gone. Thoughts of death and existence rolled about in his head. It had only been a few months since Sa-ren died fighting to retrieve the Grand Trident from the clutches of the exiled Elven Lord Ten-kai on the island of Jankenpon, and he was torn apart by grief. While he had friends to help him with his grief like Daphne, Ember, Jan and the great arch-mage Friday, he felt the best way to properly mourn his late wife was to get away from all that reminded him of her. Without any notice, Rashad left for parts unknown to do just that.

South was the direction he chose, yet he rode aimlessly. He would ride into the setting sun, watching how the last light of the day would play pink on the clouds as they followed the sun to the other side of the world. The miles peeled away and everything became a blur as he passed over hills and farmland. He kept his head down most of the time, pondering his life and what it meant up to this point.

He began to think about how he loved a machine.

How stupid that was. She wasn’t real.

He began to think how stupid his entire choice of profession was. Thinking about the job of an adventurer, Rashad began to think all adventurers were no more than troublemakers and thieves out for a thrill. It was their thrill-seeking that got Sa-ren killed. It was HIS stupid thrill seeking that got her killed.

The choices he made so many years in his parent’s home in Miniga and on the snowy slopes of the Kazin mountain range are why he’s here today. Rashad knew there would be a price to pay for his line of work: danger, violent deaths, imprisonment and maybe even starvation. He also knew there would be great rewards of money, fame and glory. If an adventurer was lucky, he could even make his place in the annals of history; the name would be passed from generation to generation in song and story to legend.

As Rashad looked at the Adventurer’s Guild medal as it plunked rhythmically against his breast, he wondered if this chunk of metal he wore around his neck was what it was all about. Was it all that he hoped for when he was young? he thought.  Was it worth the lives he ended to get it? Was it worth the money? Was it Sa-ren’s life?

Rashad grabbed the medallion and was about to rip it from his neck and throw it away when he noticed his surroundings. He was in the middle of what used to be a town. The buildings had begun to lean over, due to disrepair. The stones had great patches of moss on them, while the wood buildings had grown black with mold and were almost coated with moss. The carpet of moss gave the buildings a camouflaged look as they stuck out of the overgrown roads. The town boasted a grain silo, but it was moss-coated and had been out of use for some time. It stood sentinel as a reminder of the life that once filled this ghost town.

Rashad stuck his head into one of the houses saying, “Anyone here?” He knew no one was here, and the interior of the house confirmed that. Yet the inside looked as if it had been ransacked. Chairs had been overturned and dishes broken. There was evidence of a fire on what was the dinner table, but Rashad hesitated to go in further for fear of catching something from the black carpet of mold on a nearby chair. Rashad left the town just the way it was and headed south again, riding past a rotting wooden signpost in white paint with the name of that ruined town: Sumptor.