Movie Review - 2009: Lost Memories (2002)

I remember back in 2005 while scanning the aisles for the Zorro sequel and sundry other movies, I found this foreign film.  It was telling when I did not say "seen it", "own it" or "LAME" at 2009: Lost Memories--a movie I had never heard of before. I write this review in 2011, two years after the events were to take place in the film, and I can say that this movie is proof as to why you never date your films in the title.  Then again, this is an Asian movie, and the thinking of its people is most evident in their film-making.

The Japanese are a different breed of thinker as a result of being isolated on an island and from their World War II involvement in China and Korea. This has led to many a weird, bloody movie (Audition, Ichi the Killer, Tetsuo the Iron Man, The Locker) and movies on the opposite end of the spectrum (StereoFuture, Samurai Fiction, Tampopo, Dreams). Imagine if such a Japan did not exist: no major loss to nuclear weapons, no crazy movies...no Korean War. Such a world exists in the alternate version of 2009, but a terrorist group called the Fureisenjin seeks to change that by stealing an artifact called the "Lunar Soul" from the Inoue Foundation. Luckily, two agents of the Japanese Bureau of Investigation (JBI) are on the case.
Best friends and JBI agents Sakamoto (Dong-Kun Jang) and Saigo (Tohru Nakamura) stop the theft of the Lunar Soul and find out that the Inoue Foundation is hiding... something... about the case. In order to solve the case, Sakamoto digs deep and finds himself confronted with the female leader of the Fureisenjin, Hye-Rin Oh (Jin-ho Seo)--a woman that haunts his dreams before he's even met her.
Presented with contradictory events of history from the turn of the 20th Century on, Sakamoto begins to see a puzzle in which he is but a small piece. When all the pieces of the puzzle come together, the solution is a world-shattering one for both Sakamoto and Saigo, tearing apart a friendship and forcing a battle for the fate of the land and people of Korea.

Now, I've seen good Japanese action/sci-fi and I've seen bad Japanese action/sci-fi. This movie breaks the mold in Japanese action/sci-fi in that it's actually a Korean production. The last Korean movie I watched was The Good, The Bad, The Weird, only because the cover looked interesting. Now I feel comfortable enough to watch a Korean film because their film industry is capable of masterpieces like this. This officially makes up for Yonggary and the English dub of Volcano High, so thank you Korea. You are forgiven and blessed.

Video Game Review - Suikoden III (2002 - Sony PlayStation2)

Suikoden III is a game that is a worthy success or to its predecessors, in that it keeps almost all of the wonder and characters of the original stories. The game raises the ante on game play by allowing you to play as one of three heroes (via the "Trinity System") that will inherit the name you chose at the beginning of the game. While the character you choose will not be named that, the character you named will be that of the legendary man known as the Flame Champion.

Legend has it that the Flame Champion is a young man who fights for freedom and justice while bearing the True Fire Rune.(The Flame Champion might be a composite of both heroes from Suikoden and Suikoden II.) The problem with the authorized legend is that it depicts the Flame Champion as a warlord bent on destroying civilization and leaving a flaming ruin in his wake. So when rumors of the Flame Champion start to surface among the many tribes of Grassland, the government reacts quickly to quell any uprisings. This introduces us to 2 of our heroes.

The first is Captain Sarah of the Knights of Zexen, also known as the Silver Maiden. She's a swordswoman loved by her people and revered as a hero. The second hero is Hugo, son of Lucia, leader of the Karaya Clan. He is always accompanied by his gryphon mount, Fubar. Yes, Fubar (military acronym: fucked up beyond all repair). Our third hero is on the other side of the map when most of their story goes down, but he eventually becomes a big part of it. The man in question is Geddoe, captain of the Holy Harmonia Southern Frontier Defense Corps, 12th Division. His skills and choice of magic rune echo that of a prominent character from the series.
The search is on between all these parties for things that matter to their separate missions, yet the searches push them closer to each other in an effort to stop a clandestine plot to destroy the world. The villain in question is someone from previous Suikoden games, and the last person you'd expect. That's all I can say about the story itself, but I can say more about the game.

A game that can stand on its own with bonuses for those who have stayed on for this latest installment, Suikoden III is a great game. The use of 3D characters and surroundings rendered in acceptable proportions was a very good idea, as well as the inclusion of the feature to upload old Suikoden II data.  Many other factors made this game extremely fun to play, yet there were some flaws that I had issues with. These issues were enough to bring the game's rating down one point on the rating scale, because they violate a set of laws with amendments I have set aside for RPGs. These laws I have in my head are necessary to make an RPG flow as smoothly as possible. I understand that many RPGs try to be different to draw an audience, but some gimmicks shouldn't be done. On with my beef on Suikoden III.

Above: The former wielder of the True Fire Rune,
The Flame Champion. Long since dead, he leaves his
legacy behind for the next Flame Champion to lead
the people against tyranny.

First, the Trinity System.
This feature violates a rule that stipulates ONE main character per game, and all others act as NPC's in the event they are not chosen and cannot be used again until all the chapters of the story are complete. It does look like the Trinity System follows this rule with the goal of being chosen as the next Flame Champion, but look again. The user can switch between characters at the end of each chapter, which can become a muddling experience because each main character has their own inventory and item cache. Sure it's a new way to play the game, but if one character has an item -- that can't be bought -- that the other needs in order to complete a chapter with no way to meet, the problem becomes two fold. And just as you're getting on with one character, another pops up for you to "investigate."
Another problem with the Trinity system is its name. The game requires you to play as all three characters, each assuming the nom de guerre of the Flame Champion chosen at the point of file creation. The interface for the Trinity system also allows you to use 3 other interface points. Two of those points (one of them is the villain's POV) have something to do with the story, the other is pretty useless. This makes six points in the Trinity System; a "Sextet System". That's way too many accessible main characters.

Second and foremost, the World Map.
This feature violates the entire concept of the World Map. From what I understand, the World Map is used as a tool to make it from point A to point B as quickly as possible, with the chances of getting lost significantly reduced. This is not so in Suikoden III.
The World Map feature has points on it that denote places of interest, dungeons/caves, towns and castles which you can travel to and complete chapter objectives. The problem with that concept is that you can't wander about anywhere in between and have a random encounter. The game makes up for this by including NO extra random encounters in the qualifying map points. I understand that many RPG gamers are adverse to random encounters, but the loss of free movement is stifling compared to the prior Suikoden games. Keep in mind that Suikoden III is not the first to violate this rule (see Grandia, Grandia II, Final Fantasy Tactics, etc.) nor will it be the last. Its transgression is compounded by the opposing actions of its forefathers.
Suikoden III is still a fun game, beef notwithstanding. I hear that Suikoden IV will feature naval battles; hopefully they'll take a page from the remake of the video game Sid Meier's Pirates! (the oversea map that allowed you to sail past enemies) and improve on the sailing engine for the purpose of sea battles. If they can combine this previous idea with a good land elements, I'll be happy.

RATING: 9/10

Movie Review - 2 Fast 2 Furious (2002)

The thought to put this review up on my site occured to me today. I felt I should share the comedy I found in this movie. Anybody who has seen the predecessor of this movie, The Fast and The Furious (2001), can attest to the unintentional humor of Jordana Brewster's uni-brow. Before I begin talking about the humor of 2 Fast 2 Furious (we'll call it "2Fast" for short), I'll give you a hint to the joke as I summarize the movie. I'll call this summary:

"2 Fast 2 Furious"

OR

"MAN, WHEN I WAS IN PRISON..."

Our streetwise saga continues to follow the adventures of Brian (Paul Walker), former undercover cop. After losing his quarry for the sake of honor in The Fast and the Furious, he was relieved of duty. Now he street races to make ends meet in a sweet ass modified car that he crashes after being pursued by 5-0. The cops take him in and tell him that he's going to jail...IF he doesn't help his old cop buddies break up a druglord's business going on down in Miami AND to save an agent who may have crossed over. Because he's too pretty to be in prison, Brian agrees on one condition: he gets to choose his partner.
Brian chooses his old friend Roman (Tyrese), on house arrest from the last time he and Brian were together. Both of them had a criminal past as youngsters, yet Roman took the heat. He spent time in prison and still behaves as though he's still there. The two former friends settle their score and go off to do the deed in Miami, with Roman eating and reminiscing about prison every other sentence.
There they meet with a colorful cast of characters: Tej the race promoter(rapper Ludacris), his mechanic Jimmy (Ruff Ryder rapper Jin) and darling grrl racer Suki (supermodel Devon Aoki). These characters show off their cars are and how they live. They are sideline characters in a sideline story to the central conflict of drug running and the main antagonist, drug kingpin Carter Verone (Cole Hauser). The writers tried to paint Verone as a super-psychopath and failed by overdoing it. The main focus of his madness was control of everything, including his lover Monica (Eva Mendes). Little does he know that Monica is a narc. She's able to get a message to our heroes about Verone recruiting drivers through the street racing circuit, and thus we have access to the villain. Will the heroes be able to save the narc, bust the drug kingpin AND keep Roman fed while doing well over 55?

This movie took the time to lovingly show us the interiors, exteriors, engines and camera angles of female behinds never before seen on the silver screen. I would also like to mention that the writers of this movie have supplied me with yet another Bad Movie. Thank you.
I know only one dude who does anything remotely like the characters in 2Fast (no, not the drug dealing/running) and I'll have to agree with him on the subject of nitrous oxide as a catalyst/accelerant/whatever, I don't care. The lack of common sense that makes a man want to put a tank of explosive gas not crucial to the locomotive status of a car is overwhelming. Sure this sounds cool, but don't we remember all the Looney Tunes/Tom & Jerry cartoons that involved nitroglycerin? If you don't then you're on your way to killing yourself and others, because nitro-anything goes BOOM when exposed to heat.

I'd like to take the time now to address the setting of the movie: Miami.
I am from Miami, and many of my friends know because I have told them after they have asked me where I am from OR they found out in passing. Many of them have never been to Miami, nor will they ever have the time to go. They depend on me for an explanation of the behaviors candidly captured in 2Fast. Some have asked me if parties like the ones at Tej's house happen every day. Those parties happen if you've got it like that. Especially if you can control the random weather. As for the rest of Miami, I wouldn't know about it; I only lived there and stayed in my area. Like I need Officer con Leche up my ass because I'm in the "wrong area".
On the subject of city street races, I'll have to "put one finger up", as my ex-girl likes to say. Before the old vampires of corporate America plotted to commoditize our youth in this new century, people were killing themselves with organized, white-knuckle street races in the 1990s. We all knew about those happenings because maybe we knew someone who participated and won...or lost their lives. What brought it to light was the extensive TV news coverage of police busts of young men in modified cars and police efforts to curb such activities with vigilance and heavy penalties. If you weren't in the know, the only place you'd see a modified car in expressful use would be the auto show(with prerequisite hot chicks and booming speakers) or at the club(with prerequisite hot chicks and booming speakers).

In short, 2Fast is a bevy of very broad misconceptions that ended up as a script to the ultimate adolescent male fantasy. Stuff went fast, stuff blew up, we got to see someone express power over others(a la Scarface, another Miami rhapsody) and we saw plenty of cleavage and curves. Put all this to a hip-hop/Latin groove under a partly cloudy sky at 87 degrees and you'll be able to ride the nitrous fumes from the bull-shit-storm that is this fun, if thoroughly inaccurate, racing movie.

CHOICE CUTS:

• Devon Aoki. You don't see much of the young miss, but when you do it's always good. Even if you don't have residual Yellow fever.
• Jin Auyung. He's now known as the rapper Jin, but I really love his role in 2Fast as Jimmy the mechanic. The respect given to his character in the film made me think he could do anything, despite his Scotty-isms.
• Carter Verone's club party scene. In the overhead shots, there was a dark-haired woman dressed in a black mini-dress who sauntered through the club to get to the bar. I met this woman somewhat later and congratulated her on the movie. She seemed rather nonplussed and asked if I wanted a dance or what. Stardom sure didn't change her.
• Miami. I truly miss my hometown and wish I could visit more frequently. Emphasis on VISIT.
• Tyrese. Holy shit, I want muscles like that.
• Eva Mendes. So they replace Michelle Rodriguez with her? They aren't interchangeable by any stretch. I'll explain: I'd like to meet & hang out with Miss Rodriguez for an entire month; I wanna meet & do Miss Mendes for an entire week.

PRICELESS QUOTES:

"Spank that ass!"

-Suki(Devon Aoki) as she jumps an open drawbridge during the first race.

 "It's my sandwich now...bitch!"

-Roman(Tyrese), to a vice cop during a lunch meeting with undercover cops.

This movie could only get a rating of 5 for the film standard it represents: a movie so bad it can't get the best rating, yet so entertaining it can't get the worst rating or anything close to it. Stupid as it was, it was fun to watch people blow rent on racing cars IN THE MOVIE. This is another case where Life should not imitate Art(*giggle*).

RATING: 5/10