Movie Review - 2009: Lost Memories (2002)

I remember back in 2005 while scanning the aisles for the Zorro sequel and sundry other movies, I found this foreign film.  It was telling when I did not say "seen it", "own it" or "LAME" at 2009: Lost Memories--a movie I had never heard of before. I write this review in 2011, two years after the events were to take place in the film, and I can say that this movie is proof as to why you never date your films in the title.  Then again, this is an Asian movie, and the thinking of its people is most evident in their film-making.

The Japanese are a different breed of thinker as a result of being isolated on an island and from their World War II involvement in China and Korea. This has led to many a weird, bloody movie (Audition, Ichi the Killer, Tetsuo the Iron Man, The Locker) and movies on the opposite end of the spectrum (StereoFuture, Samurai Fiction, Tampopo, Dreams). Imagine if such a Japan did not exist: no major loss to nuclear weapons, no crazy movies...no Korean War. Such a world exists in the alternate version of 2009, but a terrorist group called the Fureisenjin seeks to change that by stealing an artifact called the "Lunar Soul" from the Inoue Foundation. Luckily, two agents of the Japanese Bureau of Investigation (JBI) are on the case.
Best friends and JBI agents Sakamoto (Dong-Kun Jang) and Saigo (Tohru Nakamura) stop the theft of the Lunar Soul and find out that the Inoue Foundation is hiding... something... about the case. In order to solve the case, Sakamoto digs deep and finds himself confronted with the female leader of the Fureisenjin, Hye-Rin Oh (Jin-ho Seo)--a woman that haunts his dreams before he's even met her.
Presented with contradictory events of history from the turn of the 20th Century on, Sakamoto begins to see a puzzle in which he is but a small piece. When all the pieces of the puzzle come together, the solution is a world-shattering one for both Sakamoto and Saigo, tearing apart a friendship and forcing a battle for the fate of the land and people of Korea.

Now, I've seen good Japanese action/sci-fi and I've seen bad Japanese action/sci-fi. This movie breaks the mold in Japanese action/sci-fi in that it's actually a Korean production. The last Korean movie I watched was The Good, The Bad, The Weird, only because the cover looked interesting. Now I feel comfortable enough to watch a Korean film because their film industry is capable of masterpieces like this. This officially makes up for Yonggary and the English dub of Volcano High, so thank you Korea. You are forgiven and blessed.

Movie Review - Hamlet 2 (2008)

So I just sat through a movie called Hamlet 2, whose main draw was to showcase its main character as a crazy man for sequelizing a work of William Shakespeare.  It put me through several emotions: sadness, satisfaction, anger, and happiness.  Not to mention the embarrassment for the city of Tucson, Arizona.

The film centers on the life of unpaid drama teacher Dana Marschz (Steve Coogan), who has big dreams of acting, but kinda sucks at it.  He is a drama teacher at West Mesa High School in the aforementioned Tucson, which has only 2 students: Epiphany (Phoebe Strole), a racist young woman, and Rand (Skylar Astin), a closeted young man.  The two acting students participate in Dana's plays, which are always stage adaptations of popular movies.  Unfortunately, these adaptations are very unpopular, particularly with the local theater critic--an 8-year-old who writes in the paper, Noah Sapperstein (Shea Pape).  So Dana's life continues to flounder, both professionally and personally with his wife Brie (Catherine Keener) and their roommate Gary (a wasted David Arquette).

When the other high school electives are cut due to budget problems, the drama class grows to a healthy size and introduces us to our other characters Ivonne (Melonie Diaz), Octavio a.k.a "Heywood Jablowmey" (Joseph Julian Soria), Vitamin J (Arnie Pantoja), Chuy (Michael Esparza) and the silent yet accident prone Yolanda (Natalie Amenula).  This leads to interesting adventures with a kaftan, and ultimately to experimenting with original work for a play.  The principal (Marshall Bell) still has to cut funding, and drama is next on the block.  Dana is pushed to create a new play, this time with the added utility of saving the drama program.  His original material: a sequel to William Shakespeare's Hamlet.  This proves problematic, as everyone in the Shakespearean play dies at the end.  Luckily, Dana has decided to dive into the fan-fiction writer's toolbox and is able to bring back all the principals using a time machine, a light-handed homage to Grease, and a modernized Jesus Christ (who is written in Dana's script as having a swimmer's bod.)

Due to some disagreements, the principal gets his hands on the script and objects to the sex, violence and general blasphemy in its pages.  Instead of firing Dana outright, he locks the gym--where the play was originally to take place, then threatens him like some right-wing nut.  With the principal's help, the city of Tucson gets involved and serves him with a cease and desist order, as well as informing the local churches of the play's content.  With all these stumbling blocks and then some, Dana still manages to have some help on his side: the ACLU sends Cricket Feldstein (an on-target Amy Poehler) to fight on behalf of Dana's 1st Amendment rights.  The kids won't give up, and with their energy, neither will Dana.  What ends up on stage is the most controversial, explosive, and silly sequel of anything ever made.

This movie made me feel uncomfortable at times, with the pain of Dana's life being put out on front street for our amusement.  It's some fucked up stuff, but it's supposed to make us laugh.  I just couldn't.  Not to say that the rest of the movie isn't funny, though.  There are good comedy moments, and some interesting commentary on race relations--very minute, but worth a look.  Of particular note is the introduction of a character who is playing a fictional version of herself: Elizabeth Shue.  She is a minor character who comes to some prominence at the end, and hers is a character that was a nice addition.

CHOICE CUTS:

• The kaftan scene.  I had to rewind to make sure I saw what was shown.
• Every time Yolanda got hurt: it's funny because you would hope she says something, but no...
• The pronunciation of Dana's last name throughout the film.
• Watch Amy Poehler's acting when she meets Dana--one minute it's "we'll help you fight this injustice", and the next it's "your play is irrelevant".

PRICELESS QUOTES:

"Chuy, you're going to have a magical life.  Because no matter where you go, it'll always be better than Tucson."

-Dana, to one of his students

"I have so much anger. I feel like I've been raped. In the face!"

-Dana, after reading a bad review of his stage adaptation of "Erin Brockovich"

"It's a slippery slope... beer, liquor, dope, coke, meth, chicks with dicks, then jail!"

-Dana, who has let us all know more than we needed to about his battle with alcohol.

This movie could have been funnier without all that other shit that made Dana a wackjob, and I would have loved to see more of the other students' lives like they did with Octavio.  At the same time, I'd seriously like to know what crawled up the writer's ass about Tucson.

RATING: 4/10