Video Game Review - Shinobi III: Return of the Ninja Master (1993 - Sega Genesis)

Ahh, ninjas. Ninjas are a grand breed of battler and nowhere is this more evident than in the world of video games. Why? Because someone overestimated their fighting skills a very long time ago, during the feudal eras of medieval Japan. With that placed, let's review the fourth installment of the Shinobi series, Shinobi III: Revenge of the Ninja Master.
Shinobi 3 is the fourth part in the saga because its predecessor, Shadow Dancer: The Secret of Shinobi, is truly the third installment. It's a much inferior game compared against Shinobi 3, due largely to the fact that you can be killed by getting shot IN THE FOOT. Well, at least you got a dog. Then again, I don't think you got any ninja magic. Oh yeah, and you can get shot in the foot and DIE. Needless to say, Shinobi 3 improves on all of that.

After the end of Shadow Dancer, it's implied that our ninja hero killed the crime lord Zeed. Like most good villains, Zeed didn't stay dead and reincarnated himself as a cyborg crime lord called Neo Zeed. He's got a bunch of people under his command in is quest to rule the world. Almost everyone is powerless in the face of Neo Zeed. Emphasis on almost.

Enter Joe Musashi, the hero in the Shinobi storyline. He's got plenty of improvements over his predecessors while retaining all of their good moves. Chief among those moves is his Diving Kick; a move so useful that you can fight a boss using this move alone and still not touch the ground for an obscene amount of time. Joe's a ninja you can like and well worth the time you play. The music is all goodness and light, a masterful use of whatever instrument was used to make it. And then there's the stages.

The stages are awesome. Many are generic, some are challenging, and many are just plain fun. Some stages require you to use a different mode of transportation. Hence, the second stage makes use of your ninja horse and its Diving Stomp. Yes, I did say NINJA HORSE. The fourth or fifth stage requires you to ride a jet-powered ninja surfboard. A little overboard, but it's necessary: the other choice was a ninja dolphin. I always catch myself uttering one of Tone Loc's lines from Surf Ninjas when I reach that stage: "Black men don't surf!"
When all is said and done, it's the final stage that makes you work for that win. Well, the win after you fight a boss that absolutely, positively wants you dead.

When it comes to the game as a whole, I believe it has a lot going for it. A much respected video game franchise, this time is one of the gems in Sega's crown. I have to say that this game doesn't get its rating, but deserves it beyond a shadow of a doubt.

RATING: 8/10

Movie Review - Conan the Destroyer (1984)

When I think about the person I am today, I can definitely say that the world of the 1980s has shaped me a great deal. There was a bunch of good stuff on TV then, and you can find any of that stuff on the Internet on any old 80's webpage. What really sticks is the films of the day. I remember a lot of the movies that ushered me into being a big sci-fi and fantasy fan. I'll eventually end up naming them all at some point, but I want to focus on the fantasy films of the time that influenced me the most.
Many films fall into this number, but a choice few stick out as really good. Of this number, two of them star the Austrian bodybuilder-turned-actor Arnold Schwartzenegger.  One of the two is a sequel to the character movie that made him famous: Conan the Barbarian. The movie I speak of is Conan the Destroyer.

A lot of people think that Conan the Destroyer (callin' it "Conan 2") is crap and that it brings down the first movie, a grand work on its own. I have to disagree; this movie is the perfect spot for someone NOT familiar with the exploits of the Cimmerian to get acquainted INITIALLY. For those of the 'happily ever after' set, this was a believable hero on par with violent 80's hero Rambo. This was a vehicle in which Conan could be the 'good guy', be violent and do what good guys do: SAVE THE PRINCESS. With my previous sole knowledge of stories of heroes existing to save the princess, I was sold. After reading the last paragraph, I think it's time to give a brief synopsis of the movie Conan 2.

Conan and his thieving sidekick Malak (Tracy Walter) are captured at the grave of Valeria by soldiers of Queen Taramis (character actress Sarah Douglas). She hires the barbarian and his friend to escort one Princess Jehnna (a young Olivia d'Abo, in her first movie role) and her bodyguard Bombaata (basketball star Wilt Chamberlain) to find a jeweled horn for some kind of ritual. Upon mention of possible treasure, Conan agrees to take the job. On the way to find the jeweled horn, they meet the warrioress Zula (supermodel Grace Jones) and team up with the wizard Akiro (Japanese actor Mako) to make the job easier.
They'll fight many minions, wizards and insurmountable odds to reach their goal. Many in the party will level up from this mission, but will a prestige class be worth having to watch Arnold doing the grandest phallic flexes since Pumping Iron?
This movie introduced me to the concept of not having to be a knight to save a princess as well as not having to accept what anyone gives you, no matter how prestigious. This movie also taught me that princesses are ALWAYS naive and allowed me to form an opinion on women warriors before Red Sonja or Xena ever came around. This movie, a Dino de Laurentiis production, has not diminished with time; I still get goose bumps when they swim through the icy waters of the wizard's castle. It's a great movie that'll entertain even when the world laughs at the primitive special effects of the Lord of the Rings trilogy.

...but that is another story...