Video Game Review - Shinobi III: Return of the Ninja Master (1993 - Sega Genesis)

Ahh, ninjas. Ninjas are a grand breed of battler and nowhere is this more evident than in the world of video games. Why? Because someone overestimated their fighting skills a very long time ago, during the feudal eras of medieval Japan. With that placed, let's review the fourth installment of the Shinobi series, Shinobi III: Revenge of the Ninja Master.
Shinobi 3 is the fourth part in the saga because its predecessor, Shadow Dancer: The Secret of Shinobi, is truly the third installment. It's a much inferior game compared against Shinobi 3, due largely to the fact that you can be killed by getting shot IN THE FOOT. Well, at least you got a dog. Then again, I don't think you got any ninja magic. Oh yeah, and you can get shot in the foot and DIE. Needless to say, Shinobi 3 improves on all of that.

After the end of Shadow Dancer, it's implied that our ninja hero killed the crime lord Zeed. Like most good villains, Zeed didn't stay dead and reincarnated himself as a cyborg crime lord called Neo Zeed. He's got a bunch of people under his command in is quest to rule the world. Almost everyone is powerless in the face of Neo Zeed. Emphasis on almost.

Enter Joe Musashi, the hero in the Shinobi storyline. He's got plenty of improvements over his predecessors while retaining all of their good moves. Chief among those moves is his Diving Kick; a move so useful that you can fight a boss using this move alone and still not touch the ground for an obscene amount of time. Joe's a ninja you can like and well worth the time you play. The music is all goodness and light, a masterful use of whatever instrument was used to make it. And then there's the stages.

The stages are awesome. Many are generic, some are challenging, and many are just plain fun. Some stages require you to use a different mode of transportation. Hence, the second stage makes use of your ninja horse and its Diving Stomp. Yes, I did say NINJA HORSE. The fourth or fifth stage requires you to ride a jet-powered ninja surfboard. A little overboard, but it's necessary: the other choice was a ninja dolphin. I always catch myself uttering one of Tone Loc's lines from Surf Ninjas when I reach that stage: "Black men don't surf!"
When all is said and done, it's the final stage that makes you work for that win. Well, the win after you fight a boss that absolutely, positively wants you dead.

When it comes to the game as a whole, I believe it has a lot going for it. A much respected video game franchise, this time is one of the gems in Sega's crown. I have to say that this game doesn't get its rating, but deserves it beyond a shadow of a doubt.

RATING: 8/10

Video Game Review - Gunstar Heroes (1993 - Sega Genesis)

I've had many people say that I have the speech mannerisms of a psychologist. With that in mind, I'm going to do some word association with myself. Here we go.

Day. ...night.

Ham. ...burger.

Surf. ...er dude.

Car. ...wheel

Gun. ...star Heroes.

When all the associations were made, one conclusion was clear: Gunstar Heroes is the greatest game out there for the Sega Genesis.

On the planet Gunstar 9, home of the family Gunstar, trouble was afoot. Some crazy-ass space monster was menacing the planet! White Gunstar, patriarch of the Gunstar clan, sent out fighters to deal with the incoming threat. The twin brothers Red and Blue Gunstar headed to the disturbance on foot, while the older Green traveled to the site in his transforming platform, Seven Force. The mission went wrong somehow and not only did Green become evil, but several other members of the Gunstar family have gone rogue under the command of Commander Crimson (he looks like M. Bison from Street Fighter) Crimson's using the robot armies of Gunstar 9 to wipe the Gunstar clan off the planet and take the space monster's power for himself! The fuck is a nigga supposed to do?

One thing left TO do: buck shots.

Gunstar Heroes is what I like to call "Contra on crack." The game moves at a fast pace, with tons of baddies to shoot and bosses that don't hold back. They fight you with style and force. No cheating-ass tactics, these guys. The music's great and and you can combine two separate special weapons to create a better special weapon. What makes the game even better is the fact that when you choose a specific character (either Gunstar Red or Gunstar Blue) that each player has a deficiency in their game play. One guy has better hand-to-hand techniques, but he can only shoot while standing still and the other can shoot on the run but only do minimal hand-to-hand damage. These little design flaws are what make a 2-player game better than a 1-player deal: you HAVE to work together to win. To bring it to the present, such a tactic is employed in the GameCube RPG Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles. But who wants to carry around a jug of water when you can save the galaxy!

There are many people who have not played Gunstar Heroes, and it shows when you mention the game. Their eyes are dull when the words finish and still they choose to be lost in supers, specials and combos. For the legion of people whose eyes flare with a gem-like flame when mention of the Gunstar family makes it into a conversation, you can agree with me when I give Gunstar Heroes for the Sega Genesis very high marks.

RATING: 10/10

Video Game Review - Eternal Champions (1993 - Sega Genesis)

When I first heard the buzz on this, I was glad. Not everyone is on Street Fighter's jock. Then again, this was during a time that people were marveling at the new level that video games had come to with Mortal Kombat. So, many video game companies decided to do just what they did before with the popularity of Street Fighter II: they released a glut of fighting games that tried to copy Mortal Kombat. The arcade game TimeStoppers surpassed the mark set by Mortal Kombat, by allowing dismemberment for dismemberment's sake. Eternal Champions failed in that respect because it ended up being more original than an ape of Mortal Kombat. The only thing the two games shared was their need of cool fatalities.

The story goes like this: Some warriors from across the span of Earth's history were brought to the temple of the Eternal Champion, a spectral being obsessed with honor and battle. He pits the warriors against each
other with the promise that if they emerge victorious against their peers and himself, they'll be able to go back and prevent their premature deaths. Each of the warriors are masters in their respective martial art, and the Eternal Champion is master of them all! Who could best the Eternal Champion?

First of all, Eternal Champions' characters have endeared themselves to me due to the circumstances that brought them to the attention of the Eternal Champion:

• Blade: a bounty hunter from the 26th Century and master of Kenpo.
• Shadow: a female Koga ninja assassin from the 21st Century and  mistress of ninjitsu.
• R.A.X. Cogswell: cyborg Muy Thai kickboxing champion from the 23rd Century.
• Xavier Pendragon: warlock from the 17th Century.
• Slash: Caveman from the birth of time.
• Trident: Merman gladiator from ancient Atlantis. Master of Capoeira.
• Jetta: French gypsy acrobat from the 18th Century. Mistress of French Savate.
• Midknight: scientist from the late 20th Century transformed into a vampire by Agent Orange. Master of Jeet Kune Do.
• Larcen: Cat burgular from the early 20th Century. Master of Praying Mantis Kung Fu.

One of these men is a Kool Moe Dee impersonator;
the other slapped Michael Jackson. Both of these
men share the name Blade. No word on whether
Kool Moe Dee has slapped Michael Jackson.

All of these characters could be comic book characters easy, yet they were developed by Sega stateside. With the detail that went into each character's backstory, I'm not surprised if they stole the idea wholesale from an aspiring comic artist.
Rated MA-13 (remember that, folks?) for its gruesome fatalities, it shouldn't have been. Those fatalities (called Overkills to avoid a Mortal Kombat lawsuit fatality, also called a "LEGALITY") had to be activated by landing your opponents in a specific area of the stages. If your opponent bounced in his/her falling, s/he must fall in the area required. Hard as fuck to pull off when you're beating the crap out of someone. Another interesting quirk in this game is the win count option. Your fights can go for the standard best 2 out of 3, but they can also go 4 out of 7 OR reach the maximum match point of 11 out of 21. That's a whole lotta scrappin'.

This game had a great potential to be one of the best fighting games out there, even with its difficult controls. Hey, if Tekken can have you punching out Morse code to do a simple backfist, then why couldn't this game rule? I have no idea. Maybe Street Fighter II: Championship Edition really was all that & a bag of chips; so much that it eclipsed any and all challengers. It's really sad that the only way people of the Internet Age will know of Eternal Champions is through this webpage. That's all I have to say about a game featuring the ten fallen heroes who will always be--ETERNAL CHAMPIONS.

RATING: 9/10

Video Game Review - Rocket Knight Adventures (1993 - Sega Genesis)

I just happened to pick up this game at my local Blockbuster Video, during one of my many excursions to see if Mortal Kombat was in. Knowing full well that my mom would never let me go anywhere unless my
brother was with me, that he'd only want to rent Mortal Kombat and that Mortal  Kombat was never there because of thieving Negroes, I went and picked up that game. My bro's all like, "it's a kiddie game! Why're you picking it up? I'm not playing it." That's cool, man. You don't have to experience the queer little world of Rocket Knight Adventures.
In the role of Sparkster the possum Rocket Knight, you fight the pig-headed minions of the forces of evil to  SAVE THE PRINCESS with nothing more than your sword, your jetpack and sometimes your possum tail. There are many strange locales and events (the deep reaches of space and a Rock 'Em-Sock 'Em Robots-style mech duel stand out in my mind) that Sparkster will have to traverse in order  to SAVE THE PRINCESS from the clutches of evil. While simplistic in its story, the game more than makes up for it in its events.
Case in point: in the second level, you have just escaped the first and you land on an island in the middle of a pristine lake surrounded by verdant foothills and faded mountains. There's no music at all, just you and the reflective algorithim of the lake. Then you jump off to the right...and the jetpack explodes into a burst of speed, catapulting you across the lake at an amazing speed. You're speeding so fast and the magic of the music swallows you as you fly across the lake, fighting the bats in your way--with no way in hell to stop! That scenario alone captured my imagination like no other for many months, with the game MIDI swelling its electric orchestra as I skimmed the water to dive under and over the bats to continue my fight against the forces of evil to SAVE THE PRINCESS.
The game is awesome and if you can find it, take the time to beat this game. Expansive as it is for an action game, you'll need to keep on your toes to play on a static number of continues. Hell, every time you think you're done, you're not! It's a game like that which deserves a second look, provided they don't overdo it. Rocket Knight Adventures does not overdo it

RATING: 8/10