Movie Review: Resident Evil: Retribution (2012)

Any alien armada watching out broadcasts or monitoring our data streams of pirated movies can see that Earth has a sure defense against them.  Not the armies, navies, air or special forces of respective countries would be able to stand against the might of an alien invasion.  Rest assured the aliens know our first, last, and only true line of defense: MILLA JOVOVICH.

Yes, the actress/activist/fashion designer/singer/mother/former Ukranian supermodel Milla Jovovich has been in more movies where she is the last best hope for mankind against normal and supra-normal (including extraterrestrial and supernatural) threats (see The Fifth Element) and capable of handling acrobatic feats with ease (The Three Musketeers [2011]).  These skills are heavily in play in the movie series that placed her name on the minds of movie producers: the Resident Evil franchise.
In the review for the House of the Dead movie, I brought up Ms. Jovovich and her baby-daddy Paul W.S. Anderson--the man responsible for the movie translation about the CAPCOM survival horror videogame.  I bring her up again because this review for Resident Evil: Retribution before you is also a plea to Ms. Jovovich:  

PLEASE END THE RESIDENT EVIL FRANCHISE WITH THE NEXT INSTALLMENT, BECAUSE IT'S WORN OUT ITS WELCOME.

whileIstoptheinvadingarmy--POSE...

The Resident Evil franchise was fun when everybody was making video game movies, bringing our video game fantasies to life with actors we tolerate in the roles we've already cast in our heads (more often than not, with conflict).  With a movie-only character like Alice, we'd be interested to see what kinda hijinks she could get into and out of.  She's been through Raccoon City twice, the desert, Los Angeles, Alaska, and now every major world city.

The secondary heroes in this movie are veterans from the video game series: Barry Burton, Leon Kennedy and Ada Wong.  You find out most of the world which we've seen in previous installments has been a lie on a grand scale, rendering many of the movie's off-the-wall ideas quite sensible.  It's as if the world has turned upside down to accommodate the twists & turns of the Resident Evil franchise...almost as if this entire series was written out before the first or second film hit theaters.  If that's the case, kudos to the writers for such an amazing effort.  Unfortunately, there seems to be a few reused ideas in this movie from previous Milla Jovovich movies in the series that could be done away with in my opinion.

Time for a "naked break" from POSING...

1. Naked Milla Jovovich
I'm a dude; I like the ladies and what they are capable of doing.  It's a great thing to see an empowered woman do her thing.  It was a great thing in The Fifth Element and the first Resident Evil movie to see Ms. Jovovich in a state of vulnerability, represented by different levels of injury, nudity, and confusion/disorientation, because it allowed her to transform her earlier states into a form of RAAAAAAAGE.  She then pushes out of that cocoon as a "bullet with butterfly wings" and takes out what forms of oppression and evil that lay beyond the walls of her prison.  It's as if every scene like that is supposed to be a rape victim getting her shit together and striking out at their attacker.  These can be very powerful scenes to witness, like Uma Thurman's performance in Kill Bill: Vol. I, but when overused it dulls the meaning of the scene as it happens a SECOND time in the latest entry
Due to the number of times this happens in the Milla Jovovich catalog, I'm gonna take a wild guess and say that her days of being wrapped in funky clothes are behind her and she'd like to be able to act without any identifying markers: no clothes, no items, no fancy makeup, just her and her acting ability.  Nakedness comes in many forms, from full frontal to a nondescript set of clothes.  The next idea trashes most of that guess.

afterIslayabunchazombies--POSE...

2. Milla Jovovich in Clothes
While it can be assumed Ms. Jovovich has creative control over her wardrobe, she normally  chooses clothes that could be considered comfortable, functional, or feasible.  It can be assumed in the first movie in the series (back when we could only see Michelle Rodriguez as the tough Latina chick) that she was caught unawares when she was wearing the red dress outfit.  Over the course of the storylines she's gone from comfortable warrior to bondage queen.  This is not an overnight change: she didn't wear corsets until the fourth film and the latex costumes in the fourth and fifth movies seems to be the new norm. I guess they're trying to hide or incorporate the harnesses from the wire-fu shots, but c'mon.  Her wardrobe has some unintended consequences of influencing and highlighting Ms. Jovovich's acting style.

3. POSING
Ms. Jovovich's supermodel background has lent itself to the fine woman we see today.  The clothes she wore then probably were uncomfortable to wear, as they were designed for looks not comfort.  I keep mentioning comfort because if I were fighting zombies, I wouldn't wear a costume that could limit my range of movement.  As such, a fashion designer's runway collection and the PVC/platform boots costume from Retribution lead to many instances of posing--a stiff positioning of limbs for emotional evocation.  But hold the phone: she does this in her other, more comfortable outfit (the one where she uses a sawed-off shotgun filled with coins) and in her state of vulnerability/nudity.  In clothes, she stands legs apart and fires two guns while her waist is twisted slightly, making her look more powerful.  Without clothes (or just wearing some form of hospital shift that shows side- or under-boob), she is folded in a fetal position and/or low to the ground.  The implementation of these forms comes off as inorganic and they detract from the storytelling in this movie--what story there was to tell.

Enough about that, let's talk about the movie itself.
The movie tends to lean back into its video game roots, treating every challenge to be overcome as a level in a game.  This has the tendency to pop up in lazy screenwriting.  It did have its good moments, especially in subverting an age-old beef I have with the movie industry.  That makes up for a lot, but not much.

I would really like to hear more about Ms. Jovovich's musical career ("Gentlemen Who Fell" is still on my iTunes) or any other movie she's done.  If she has to make another movie about the Umbrella Corporation's crimes against humanity, then let it be the last Resident Evil movie in the series.

And the word the poster up top should replace the word "ultimate" with "pentultimate". It means "next to last", as in "you all need to end this movie series with the next film."  Please.

Cordoba Chronicles IV: Chapter 12

EPILOGUE

The 16th day of Rzandol, Axian Year 7803

The world is now a completely different place.

My master has seen fit to give me another chance to perform in the world of the Living. In its infinite mercy, I was pulled from the sublime embrace of Death by its hand and given many new powers. What would surely end the lives of others is now a mere nuisance to me. While I was given these grand gifts, I still had to pull myself from beneath a boulder.
Upon freeing myself, I saw what was a factor in my initial death. A Halfling male, aged 38, lay prone and broken at my feet in the ruined temple I created for my master. I looked about the broken walls and the ruins of my home above and thought that I should feel some feeling, yet I did not. Was this yet another gift from my master: the ability to know, but not be taken over by emotion?
True to the will of the Benefactor, I was indifferent at the knowledge that I escaped death at the hands of a sworn protector of a misguided male notion of what is “good” yet again. Males: always a thorn in the side of justice and what is truly right in the world. The claims of right and wrong issued from their mouths are but a hollow gesture to the women who have paid with their lives and their freedom in the wake of their wars. The only way, some males may say, to achieve peace. After many years of contemplation and experimentation, I have found another way.
It is my discovery that frightens the established world of thought, as have the necromancers who have preceded me on this material plane. The idea of order and balance in the world of mankind is aberrant to the minds of most males and their wiling whores. They see the actions of my like-minded practitioners as evil for evil’s sake. Nay, my work is not evil, but it fails to meet the ‘holy’ approval of the janissaries of the false gods. That is enough to knock the feather from their caps and label my work as they see fit.
Would they deign to know about this work and its practitioners, they would know that it is we—the mortal masters of the undead—that achieve what they can only promise in theory: peace and everlasting life. It is a form of mercy unknown to the false gods and their followers. The world has chosen not to follow the path of what is good and holy, relegating it to the back room as if it were a secret shame.

In response to the faint glow of my Adventurer’s Guild medallion, I believe that I should resume my duties as an Adventurer—nay, a Crusader, for I seek adventure no longer. I now seek to implement a solution long overdue.
It seems that my master has agreed with my decision, for it has showered me with all the tools I would need to complete my mission. Old texts and manuscripts, and even older artifacts have fallen through the gaps of the rubble and stone above my head. They are all useful components for my future campaign, my maps of Kinjeti in particular. Their proximity to the fallen Halfling’s helmet reminded me of a place I had not been to in some time.
The Collection Room had not changed since I last crossed the dimensional door from my basement (when it was still a basement) into the pristine white marble walls and myriad trophies. I passed by the shield of Bors the cleric and the last three daggers still locked in the bandolier of Va-shi the elven battle-mage, to an empty manikin head. I placed the helmet of the fallen Halfling paladin onto the manikin head, recalling the male’s name and writing it on the plaque below: Cyan.
As I left the dimensional door, the night’s gloom was of no comfort to me as it once provided. I looked above and saw Rzandol shining down. I climbed out of the chasm that was my home and laboratory and stood upon a sturdy part of my collapsed roof. The light of the moon flashed blue on my pale skin…and it reminded me of young Inia.
I had many applications for the positive results with my experiment in ectoplasmic and incorporeal manipulation and the resultant proof of my hypothesis that an incorporeal being, such as a ghost, can be returned to the world of the Living through spells. The details of my initial experiment with Inia’s immortal soul are detailed in an earlier log, but this latest development could only be a side effect of the resultant simulated aging and brain development of the average teenager. Falling in love, rebelliousness and general ignorance of the world around her was a sure sign that my experiment with Inia was far too successful.
There were to be no interferences in her life and my control of it, but an unanticipated variable entered into the equation that was my calculated experiment.
I’ll be damned if it wasn’t a male.

As my young subject goes off to the west, I can only look on through the cloud of iridescent green  dust for I must not fail my master a second time with the foibles of mortality, such as impulse. I will plot. I will plan. When my machinations are beyond the restrictions of any possible failure, when my grand army of the undead is a mighty force I will strike at the world and charge roughshod over the kingdoms and potentates of mankind. Then the world will join me in peace.

Whether they want to or not.

-Blackheart the Destroyer

Movie Review: Prometheus (2012)

Ridley Scott's ALIEN films have been a grand source of entertainment for me, exposing me to the interesting works of Swiss artist H.R. Giger.  It was his art that inspired the shape of the Xenomorph, the primary antagonist of the ALIEN franchise.  Science fiction writer Dan O'Bannon provided the screenplay, allowing for the atmosphere and many of the thrills, mystery and suspense of the film.  Later writers (namely the franchise's proper writers David Giller and Walter Hill) and directors (The Avengers' Joss Whedon, Titanic's James Cameron) left their mark on the franchise, with a mixed bag of results.  Mr. Scott's latest outing with the ALIEN franchise, Prometheus touches on the background story of a very important but little-explored race of extraterrestrials who are intertwined with the Xenomorph: their indirect creators.

These indirect creators are referred to as "Engineers" by Drs. Elizabeth Shaw (Noomi Rapace) and Charlie Holloway (Logan Marshall-Green), archaeologists that find connections between several ancient cultures on Earth that all point to a grouping of stars in the heavens.  They have interpreted it to be the location of the homeworld of mankind's creators--their Engineers.  They soon pack their bags and join a crew for an interstellar flight on the starship "Prometheus" to the location indicated, funded by Weyland Industries (precursor to Weyland-Yutani Industries in the later ALIEN films) under the instruction of the hologram of the late Charles Weyland (Guy Pierce) and mission director Meridith Vickers (Charlize Theron).  They find a planet with a moon, marked as LV-223, in 2096 and land to investigate the strange structures found on long-range scans.  Their findings reveal that the structures are ancient and abandoned alien spacecraft, and that something that left behind a litter of alien humanoid corpses and several cylinders filled with an animate black liquid.  A sensible group of people would simply walk away and fly back home, but David (Michael Fassbender)--an android--has been secretly tasked to retrieve samples or a live specimen.  In his attempts to achieve his goals, hijinks ensue.

Strangers in the niiiight...exchanging glances....

It's safe to say that Mr. Fassbender steals the show even in light of Idris Elba's performance as Janek, captain of the "Prometheus".  Much of that has to do with the marketing campaign for the movie, which featured a character profile on the android.  It showed how complex of a creation he was, from interpreting different genres of art to complex mathematical and spatial computations.  When it came to concepts that would generally make a person sad (i.e., murder), David offered tears of sadness; when it came to accomplishing a task that his human counterparts would find unethical (ex.: violating a person's physical being in some manner) to achieve a goal, David stated that he would not have a problem doing such things.  These two examples of an incongruous and conflicting thought process along with a face devoid of emotion really sold the idea of Mr. Fassbender's android character.  Not bad for an 8th-generation Weyland Industries android fresh out of the box.

The film was sufficiently suspenseful, and entertaining as an exercise of human frailty and folly when faced with one of the most dangerous things in the cosmos: desire.